BreastScreen Aotearoa

BreastScreen Aotearoa is a free national breast screening programme for eligible women aged 45 to 69.
It checks women for signs of early breast cancer by using mammograms.

Mammograms are the only proven way for finding breast cancers early enough to reduce your risk of dying of breast cancer. Regular mammograms reduce the chance of dying from breast cancer among women aged 45-69. But the benefit is greatest for women aged 50-69.

Today I have had my third two yearly mammogram. As I waited the lady next to me asked if I had had one done before. "Yes" I replied.

"Is it really painful?" she asked.

Now there is an open question!

I answered that I didn't think so. Yes it is uncomfortable but if you relax your shoulders and really lean into the machine it lessons that a bit. I hope I put her at rest.

I realised that I had felt like that the first time.

A gas leak has affected a major pipe line in the upper North Island of New Zealand, so hospital laundries (along with many other consumers) are not working so I was asked to use my own cardy. This was a pleasant result as mine was thick and warm so I felt more relaxed.
The actual positioning of the breast and 'gentle' coming together of the plates for the x-ray only took about 30 seconds. There are four x-rays taken and I was in and out of the place in 15 minutes. This included filling out a form, chatting, stripping to the waist and redressing.

For me this is really important especially as my mother has just had a mastectomy because of a lump she found.

October is breast Cancer awareness month so my appointment was quite appropriately timed.

I know its a thing that is joked about but it isn't as bad as they may say for we wouldn't go back for another!

Mammograms

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need

to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the

exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared

for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right

in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the

door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.

Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first

time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is

just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the

floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a

friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently

flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a

stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your

breasts.

Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an

appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!

AND, just a thought for all the women out there........

MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,

MENopause............

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?.........And

When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!

Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget to have a

mammogram!!!!!!

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra....

Hard to Find

Supportive

Comfortable

Always Lifts You Up

Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging

And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

MEN, please don't take this personally... we still love you all!