However people in the Leadership team did not think I should talk about my husband and his mental illness. On Friday I was told not to do this again because it was private and what if my husband was to come into church and face people who would know all about him. I feel it would be such a testimony if he did because they would all know the place he has come from to be there.
For a few days I have been battling with emotions; anger - that I have been told off; sadness - that people don't seem to want to know, accept or understand Mental Illness; confused - that others can share about members of their families who have heart disease, diabetes or other illness's, but not me; isolation - once again living with someone with a Mental Illness is often like living in a cage with it.
I had felt at the time last Sunday an odd feeling of being pushed to say something. As I held back in my stubbornness not to share, I got more and more awkward feelings and I knew from the past that this is the Holy Spirit of God telling me to go forward and share. In obedience to God I did go forward and shared, but it was not what I thought I would say but what God seemed to speak through me. I had people come to me later that day and through the week, saying thank you to me for sharing and how encouraged they were by what I said.
In my battle of emotions I was ready to give up on this church and go somewhere else which would also mean finding another job as I work in the office.
But this morning our vicar gave a sermon from Acts 1:1-8 and I knew it was God saying it is all well. It is just the people who have problems with what I share - not God. I felt at peace with God.
The vicar asked "do we resist or hear from the Holy Spirit?" In verse 2 it says,
"...until the day he was taken up to heaven, after giving instructions through the Holy Spirit to the apostles he had chosen."
Jesus speaks through the Holy Spirit. Jesus is the 'head' of the body - us, the church. He speaks to us through the Holy Spirit so it makes Gods direction more clear. He tells us to wait for the Holy Spirit to receive instruction.(Verse 4 "On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about." )
In verse 8 it says
"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
because the Spirit of God pours power upon us.Acts 2:17+18 " 'In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy."
I know that for some I encourage them and for all who read my blog I pray that God will speak to you through what you have read and that is enough for me.
At the end of he service some people spoke out scripture from the Bible and I felt God was speaking to me through one of them.
Zephaniah 3:17 - "The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
All scripture is from (New International Version)
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