What Does Christmas Mean To You?

Today is the first Sunday in Advent.

In the past I have started my Christmas Planner about this time as I don't like to be hassled by Christmas in a material way before the season sort of begins. I follow my planning so all the things in preparation get done and I don't forget anything. Following my plan also helps me to use the time of Advent as being all part of Christmas rather than just one day. I also have birthdays into November so I am still thinking of them.

However this year has been different...

"Tell me about it", I hear you say.

Who would have thought this time last year when we heard reports of a virus in China that the world would be changed in 2020.

In fact thinking of that, who knows what anything holds for us in the future.

Now don't get me wrong I am not putting a damper on Christmas or the new year or life in general ... but its made me think, "How do we use all this for good?"

As we take actions to keep ourselves and those around us safe; the scientists search for a safe reliable vaccine; we learn to live in this 'new' way of life - we indeed have to look at Christmas in a different way.

How do we do that, when we are so used to the way we have celebrated this time of the year and restrictions pose obstacles we don't like? (especially in other parts of the world)

Or maybe the whole world situation creates the way we go about this time different or with a sense of dread as to what might happen before we even get to the 25th of December.

So,

What Does Christmas Mean To You?

It's a question to ask yourself as we go into the season to help us cope and put into place the things that really matter. 

When you stop and ask yourself that question I would suggest you really think about it.

Is it time with family?

Is it food and drink, and plenty of it?

Is it a holiday away from all the hassle?

Is it relatives that you really dread being with!?

Is it a time of expense that you hate?

For me it is some of those but it is mainly a time as a Christian that I celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Yes we have food, there are decorations to put up and enjoy, we try to be with family and have times with friends, we exchange presents the I have saved for during the year, but I also focus on the nativity and what the meaning of the birth of Christ means to me.

I have an array of Nativity scenes I set up around other Christmas decorations. My tree is filled with angles to remind us of the host of angels who announced the good news of Jesus' birth to a group of humble shepherds.

Luke 2:8-16

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.

What does Christmas mean to you?

This year the Hope Project are encouraging churches and people to put Christ back into Christmas.

Too many cards, treats and advertising media are removing the word Christ and either using an "X" or just calling it 'holiday' items. As a Christian for me Christmas is celebrating the birth of Jesus my saviour and although people may argue that it is a pagan festival or that I shouldn't push my views onto others, the point I make is it is a time for my family and I to celebrate and we will do it the way that means the most to us.

God says in His Word, the Bible

Deuteronomy 4:9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Leviticus 23:2 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘These are my appointed festivals, the appointed festivals of the Lord, which you are to proclaim as sacred assemblies 

Now I know that these scriptures are actually meaning events in the Old Testament, which are part of the Jewish traditions, but God wants us to remember Him and to pass what we know onto others, and in celebrating Christmas for its real meaning we are doing just that.

I hope and pray that this Christmas as we adapt to what these times have caused us to now do, that you seek out the true meaning of Christmas.

Whatever your answer for the question this post asks, you need to make it what you want.

If you wish to follow my Christmas Plan it starts here.

All Scripture is taken from the New International Version

The Things We Say

I wasn’t sure what to title this post as I wasn’t sure what it was that I was wanting to say (write) but as it progressed, I released it was all about “The Things We Say.” 

For those of you who don’t know me I have five beautiful grown-up children (8 grandchildren) and Harry and I have been married for 42 years. 

I am immensely proud of our children; who they are and what they have achieved and become. I’m not so much proud for being their mum (although “Yes” I am) but more of who they are. Each is different in their own way but they are all ‘from’ me and the things I have said, not said, done and not done shaped the beginning of their life journey. And now I see them all as adults having succeeded in each of their paths and all they do. I love them all dearly and want to be apart of their lives but I don’t want to be that interfering, intrusive mother and create a feeling for them that cringes each time I turn up! I feel privileged to share in their journeys, the highs and lows and I admit it hurts a little when I’m not or if I have no idea what is going on with their lives. 

In fact for one of them I struggle that they don’t want that for me. I know that sounds all a bit 'what about me" but I'm a mother and you just can't take the mothering out of me 😀

I am presently going through a book/study titled “A Year of Biblical Womanhood” by Rachel Held Evans I bought through Book Depository. 

She titled October as learning the art of Gentleness. I thought I had that sussed but it appeared I didn’t. 

I have learnt through this that I say some pretty cutting things to not just family but anyone really, that are not ‘gentle’. 

Now let’s be honest here, there are things we don’t like about people even when we love them including ourselves but that’s what makes us who we are and we know that the only ‘perfect One’ is Christ Jesus Himself so don’t be hard on yourselves. People will often say nice things about me and I have learnt to take them on board and accept them but I have had the other side of the coin too. Some of my children have said they don’t like the way I talk to their Dad. I thought “What’s wrong with the way I talk to him?” and this month I have learnt why. 

Rachel talks in her book about a ‘Jar of Contention’ she writes, and I quote: 

So to kick some of my less-than-gentle habits, I have made a “jar of contention,” which works a bit like a swearing jar. 

Each time I am caught in the act of gossip, nagging, complaining, exaggerating, or snark I put a penny in the jar. At the end of the month, each penny represents one minute I have to spend doing penance on the rooftop of my house to simulate what it is like to live with a contentious woman. 

I had to look up the meaning of contention to truly understand it: 

noun: a struggling together in opposition; strife. a striving in rivalry; competition; contest. strife in debate; dispute; controversy. a point contended for or affirmed in controversy.

Snark is from the word’s “snide” and “remark”.  

"Snarky" is used to describe speech with a specific emotional tone, typically a form of sarcasm informed by cheekiness and a mild, playful irreverence or impudence. When the dominant intent of the communication is to express or convey direct or judgmental rudeness, the sense of mild cheekiness is lost and the overall communication crosses the line to become "snide."

And there it was – I make snarky comments. 

I have come to realize that my mother made comments to me over the years when she didn’t agree or like what I did or said and they were ‘snarky”. Whether she meant to or not she was trying to make herself clear how she felt and being family, one thinks one can get away with talking like that. Well you can’t because it still leaves a mark. 

They say that behavior is shaped by nature and nurture. I’m not sure what the percentage is but these all are part of who we are. Whether we wanted to or not we pick up some of these learned behaviours that may or may not be beneficial to us. 

I started my ‘Jar of Contention” halfway through October using marbles (instead of coins as Rachel had because we just don't have coins anymore) and I soon learnt that I used snarky comments when ever I wanted to get a response of action or have the last comment to keep the silence. I’m not going to go into them but I felt terrible as each day progressed. 

The first day there were 6 marbles, then 5, six again and after a couple of days there would be 3 or 4 a day. After two and a half weeks there were 51 marbles in the jar. Now that would mean if I followed through with Rachels course of action I was going to have to sit on the corner of our roof for 51 minutes. 

Proverbs 21:9  Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. 

What is really interesting is that this verse is repeated again - And if there is one thing I have learnt is that if God repeats something its something He really wants you to know.

Proverbs 25:24  Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.  

I hate to think what it would have been if I had done it for the whole month! 

I decided I wasn’t going to actually do this as Rachel had, because it seemed like a waste of 51 minutes and I had learnt my lesson well and truly. There may be times when I still think snarky remarks especially when ‘promises’ are not carried through but I have learnt that the remark does nothing to help and only cuts the person it is aimed at. I have learnt to listen more and say less. I have also learnt to “hear” what is being said (or not) and to think about what is the most helpful and nicest way to aid, if need be, the other person if it truly is an issue. But I have learnt most that “Dah” I can’t have it my way. If correction is needed then sure speak about it in a caring way to encourage a positive turn around but to get one’s own way is manipulative and controlling. 

OK I’m not saying I have won the battle. I still have thoughts and the urge to say something cutting or snide because I don’t like what has or hasn’t been done or said, but I feel so good when I realize what it is and I keep it to myself. I have learnt a fault of mine and am coming a long way to lose it and be one step closer to a gentle woman in her speech.

Scripture taken from the New International Version

Where do I start?

Some of you will be aware that its nearly a year since I last posted here on my blog.

Others will just have chanced upon here and be none the wiser...

But we all know that 2020 is and will be known as, and I quote Queen Elizabeth II in a speech she made at Guildhall on 24 November 1992, an "annus horribilis"  - meaning "horrible year". 

If you have been living in outer space or closer to the earth in the deepest parts of Africa you may not know that 2020 is the year that the world was infected with COVID-19.

COVID-19 is a disease caused by a new strain of coronavirus. 'CO' stands for corona, 'VI' for virus, and 'D' for disease. Formerly, this disease was referred to as '2019 novel coronavirus' or '2019-nCoV.'   

For most of us our lives have changed and millions have been infected (at this time the world total is 43,355,163) and many lives have been lost (at the same date 1,159,200). We are now seeing a second wave across the world and some predict it will be with us for another year. [statistics taken from Worldometer]

We wash our hands a lot more than we used to, use hand sanitizer before and after we go in to shops, cafes, appointments etc and keep our distances. We keep records of where we've been and who we have been with and in New Zealand we now use the NZ COVID tracer app. We are reminded to cough and sneeze into our elbow. In the past you went to work when you were unwell after dosing up on some flu relief medication, but now we stay home and check to see if we need a COVID test. So much for the old advertisement slogan "Solider on with Coldral".

I admit this all threw me into a bout of anxiety especially when New Zealand went into 'lockdown' and I felt we were coming out of each level too soon, but it always seem to be OK and the rest of the world looked at New Zealand in awe at what we have achieved.

But 2020 was more than just the stress of COVID for me.

In January we lost my sister Ailsa to bowel cancer.

Mum turned 90 in April but we were in lockdown so it passed uneventfully. We thought we could celebrate her 91st next year instead, but...

In August Mum passed away to be with her Lord and Saviour.

In less than a month our pastor John, who I had worked along side and become very close to as a friend and colleague, passed away too from cancer.

Not to mention another friend who died within a week of that.

So yes this year has been sit (opps missed out the "h"😉) and its only October!

That is why I haven't been up to writing much especially on here. 

Over the last month or so I had a crisis of faith. God remained faithful and took me on a journey, even though at the time, I didn't think He was there at all and I am now on a new path and keen to get back to things again. 

You may wonder "Why the picture at the top?" When I was struggling with it all, I stopped by Lake Taupo on my way home from a trip to Wellington, to see my Dad. As I sat and watched the water, the birds and realized how I was feeling, this tree was just there - all on its own. 

And that was how I felt.

All alone.

But, as I have said, I have come through and the desire to post again was only held back by, "Where do I start?"