My Life Changed

If you have read the post before this one (below) you may have been wondering or waiting for this one!

(And if not may I suggest you read My Journey of Faith)

Friday September 10th 2021

It was just after the second lock down in New Zealand and we were allowed to start going out, well a little bit. I was driving to Matamata to pick up a repeat prescription I had ordered, return a library book and get a few groceries. Harry had been looking for free pellets and especially plastic ones to stack the firewood on. There were a few out side the Nothing Naughty factory, a health food factory and shop. 

I thought, "I’ll ring him on Blue Tooth!" Never done it before, so now was as good a time as any. I stopped at the stop sign on the corner of Patetere Road and State Highway 27 and plugged my phone in. Drove off and waited for the music, that plays when it’s plugged in, to start. Now Harry was talking to his brother on his cell phone, when I left, so I knew I had to ring the landline. So I said, "Phone Home." 

(Visions of E.T.) 

The music stopped and you could sort of hear something happen like a phone start to ring then nothing really. The music started again. I waited for a bit and tried again. The same thing happened. I thought that’s not right, so with my hands still on the steering wheel I glanced down to look at the phone. 

It was on the curve on SH27 just by the Balloons Fantastic people’s house. I didn’t see the truck because of  the curve in the road and trees...

The next thing the windscreen smashed and I saw a sort of orange shape through the shattered glass. (Possibly the metal bit poking out by the truck wheels - Right pic) I’ve had a windscreen shatter before and knew I had to get off the road safely and I needed to get the side windows down fast to see the road. While this is flashing through my head there is this feeling of being airborne and then a heavy impact to the right side of the car. 

This all took about 3-4 seconds. 

It was 1.54pm. The phone had connected and rung Harry at home. It is recorded on my phones history. He was just talking to his brother on his cell phone so it took him time to get up and get to the phone to answer it. He said when he did all he could hear was static.

Immediately I thought, "I’ve been in an accident." I didn’t know where I was as I couldn’t see and I was stuck. I thought I was actually down by the railway line on the other side of the road. 

The pain kicked in and I was desperate to get up off my right side as I was lying on my arm and it was painful. I tried to pull myself up off my arm by gripping the steering wheel with my left hand to pull myself up but I didn't have the strength and I was stuck

I cried out “Help me I’ve been in an accident” then “Jesus, Jesus”. I was not swearing. I was calling out to Jesus our Lord and Saviour

Smoke came out from under the steering wheel and I thought, “No, I’m not going to survive a car accident and then be burnt alive.” I called out "Jesus, Jesus." again. I so needed Him to rescue me.

Then there were voices and I was able to relay it was just me, I was hurt, could they ring Harry and gave them our home number. I had to tell them twice. I learned later they were surprised I could recite the number. I had not had a bang to the head so there was no concussion but they still found it amazing. 

(But God is!) 

And I asked for someone to please pray. Twice I asked and no-one responded, but I knew there were at least 4 different people there. 

My front left wheel and
the trucks wheel in the distance
Harry's ute to the right 

Then I heard the siren go up. Do you know how reassuring that sound is when you are in need? 

The Tirau Fire brigade arrived and the rescue started. I suppose the view from the back of my car doesn't look so bad and they may have thought it just needed to be 'righted' so to speak but it was much worse than that.

Stephen, a fire fighter, lay on the ground by my window the whole time, even when advised by the brigade to move, when they were doing a couple of dangerous things to the car. What a comfort that man was. Each time the brigade were doing something to the car he would tell me what was going to happen and what to expect. Other times we would just chat about anything really, just to be distracted from my pain and what was happening.

 A couple of times a tarpaulin was laid across me to protect from shattering glass and other debris and still he lay outside the car by my drivers window next to me.

Once they had tied the car to a tree and supported it in it's position, they could then cut the roof off. I was told much later that they had just obtained a new tool for doing this and I was the first vehicle they tried it on. Some how when I had been told that I felt special that as a local they were using it on a local's car, not that that was probably what they wanted to be doing, I know many of them.

An orange jack to support the back left of the car.
Stephen lying on the ground beside me.
(Below the car)
The line of trucks waiting to get past

Then the St Johns Ambulance officer had arrived at 2.08 and could now work on me. Before that she had great difficulty reaching through the windows and dislodged windscreen. She had been trying to take my blood pressure, insert a line in and generally assess my injuries.

As I was stuck in my seat with the steering wheel and dashboard shoved closer from the impact of the crash, it was all difficult. I didn't know at the time but the dashboard had come up and shattered my knees exposing a lot of tissue and our son, Daniel, had said to me later, "Mum, there was a lot of blood!"

The St John's Officer had tried to insert the lure in the normal places but the injuries were making it very difficult to find anywhere. She had tried the arms and couldn't even get to the ankles.

She gave me the green whistle to suck on. If you have ever watched those emergency rescue programmes on television you will know patients are told you have to really suck on these for the pain relief to work, so suck on it, I did. Believe me, I needed it and it quickly started taking effect.

My safety belt was cut off and I could remember the feeling of relief from that. I had broken the sternum and some ribs from the belt, but it had kept me safe in my seat. I also felt her cutting my shoes and clothes up my left side. I had loved that dark orange mohair rolled neck jumper! It was so soft and warm but light to wear.... 

I don't recall much more but Harry and Daniel said I moaned a lot whenever they moved me. 

Harry recalls I was extracted from the car by cutting at the back of the  car's drivers seat and sliding the stretcher under me, then carried on a stretcher to the waiting ambulance. 

I was trapped in the car for about 45 minutes while they worked to get me out.

I have captured a copy of the ambulance report so you can see to what degree the staff were dealing with.

O/A = On arrival

PT = patient

GCS = Glasgow Coma Scale (used to objectively describe the extent of impaired consciousness in all types of acute medical and trauma patients. 15 fully alert, 3 deep coma)

R = right

IV = intravenous

ICP = Intensive Care Paramedic

BP = Blood Pressure  

A = Airway

B = Breathing

C = Circulation

D = Disability (Level of consciousness)

NSR = Normal Sinus Rhythm 

KOED = knocked out

L = left

abdo = abdomen 

These pictures my son took may seem hard to look at but it helped me to see what had happened and the work needed and done to free me and get me to hospital. The securing of the car to a tree, the cutting off, of the roof and the St John's officer trying to get at me from all angles.

The new cutting tool top left. 
My right hand out the window
Sheets and tarpaulin over me
The white airbags deflated on dashboard

During that time, I had a couple of visions. 

The first was of being wheeled on a trolley by what appeared to be people dressed like those in the TV series Mash through some bush. They were rushing and talking about the need of urgency. 

This faded and then a new vision came. 

I was being pushed along on a trolley again but this time I was in a tunnel. It was made of smooth pure white and a sort of orangey-gold tiles. Even though they were tiles there did not seem to be any grout holding them together and they were bigger then the size of bricks. They were so bright they almost glowed. 

I had six people pushing the trolley wearing pure white gowns and they were smiling and sort of humming. They were saying; I was going to be all right, it was so good to see me, 'they' were waiting for me, I was nearly there ... and we were sort of just curving around to some sort of grand entrance then it all faded out. 

The ambulance notes say that “Patients respiratory effort decreased, oxygen saturations decreased, manual airway manoeuvre and bag mask ventilation for 5 mins.” 

I believe I was dying. I believe I was on my way to heaven. I remember feeling in that vision, surprised but then excited for whatever was about to happen even though I wasn’t quite sure what was happening. I was almost disappointed when I 'came back'. But for some reason God needed me still to be here on earth. Heaven is real and I am not afraid of dying but only in God's time when He is ready for me to enter His glorious Kingdom above.

I was worked on in the ambulance for nearly 40 minutes. The ambulance report says "Handed pt over to heli at 15:33"

Then I am aware of Harry kissing me and being slotted into the Westpac Rescue helicopter and the heli crew telling me what to expect. Head phones were put over my ears and it would take 11 minutes to get to Waikato Hospital. 

While we were flying I could see the clouds and I thought about what had happened. Here I was not sure how broken I was, not having time to talk to Harry, trying to grasp what I had seen in the vision and wondering what was going to happen to me. The attendant in the helicopter would ask how I was and chat a little while monitoring me all the time. But I was comforted that God was in control and He loved me, even though I had looked away for a second while driving.

Once at Waikato there was a team who set to work on me just like you see in TV shows. I don’t remember a lot of it as I was in and out of sedation. I do remember being taken to the CT machine for the scan, so not being able to have the pain relief on. There were warm blankets and support all around me on the stretcher bed. I was told I had to lie still, hold my breath - there was no way I was moving anything. 

left knee with pins

I had 17 fractures to the body:

A green stick fracture in my left elbow. 

3 broken ribs and a broken sternum. 

6 fractures to the spine. 

A right femoral neck fracture. 

A comminute fracture of the humerus in my right arm. 

A shattered left knee cap 

Two breaks in the right femur above the knee and halfway up.

The ball of the right hip bone broken off the top. 

I underwent 8 hours of surgery with:

Pins inserted in the left knee cap to repair a shattered patella

Plates and pins to hold the two breaks in line, in the right femur, this then had -

A bolt to reattach the ball of the right hip to the top of the femur

Plates (1 long and 1 short) in the right humerus

Other open wounds in my knees and legs were flushed and stitched back together.

lower right femur (newer x-ray)

Upper right femur and hip bolt

 As I was not given copies of all the original x-rays its hard to see.

In the x-ray to the left:

The plate the bolt in the hip is connected to at the top, is long and runs all the way down to the knee. 

In the x-ray on the right:

The same long plate holds two breaks in place, one half way up the femur (you can just see it at the very top of the pic on the left) and then one near the knee, just above the three horizontal pins. 

To me the pins look like nails rather than pins!

In the hunerus x-ray pics (Below) you can see the shattered break and the need for a long plate on one side and a shorter one behind to hold the shattered bones in place.

This fortunately did not break skin.

You will see why it was so painful and why I wanted to pull myself up off lying on it in the car before help arrived.

Right hunerus break before and after surgery

The above video is the day after surgery while in the high dependency unit

I spent 2 days in the high dependency unit, then 8 days up in the orthopedic ward at Waikato Hospital. I was told by the chief emergency orthopedic surgeon that it would take a long time to heal. I thought a few weeks being home by my birthday at the end of October. He stressed again it will take a long time. 

The plan was for me to spend six weeks in convalescent care then six weeks in rehabilitation.

Convalescent care was to be at Morrinsville or Te Awamutu. These are a fair way away from our place, so probably an hour to hour and a half, round trip to visit

My friend Marie, who pretended to be my sister so she could visit (we are sisters in Christ) suggested I be transferred to Pohlen hospital ( 15 minutes or so from our place) and I prayed. 

It happened. 

I grew to love the care, staff and residents and accepted it as my home for the coming months

Back right

My MUMSEY before September
Nissan March

Front left

Continued in next post...

My Journey of Faith

We read in scripture - Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 

But what if we don’t have that confidence. We want or need to see it – a Crisis of faith 

I was born the third of four children in a Christian family going to church every Sunday. I was baptized as a baby and after asking Jesus into my life at fifteen I confirmed that baptism in a special service at the Presbyterian church I call our family church in Wellington, where we were married and I still go to when I am down there. 

Being a Christian was just a part of who I was and I realize over the years listening to other people’s testimonies, I have been truly blessed with my upbringing and love in our family. 

Numerous times in our married life my faith has been the only thing that got us through difficult times.

I felt extremely fortunate to work in our church office here for thirteen years but in 2019 I felt God say it was time for something new. I had spent the first twenty years of my life growing up so to speak. The next twenty years married and raising our five children, then twenty years working part-time as we became empty nesters. I felt God say it was time for ‘me’ time and that the next twenty years were to be spent with Harry and just enjoying our later years together. I handed in my notice to finish work in September and looked forward to what was in store. 

In 2020, three months after I had retired, I lost my sister to cancer in the January after her diagnosis in late October a month after I had retired. We all had to deal with the start of COVID and then my mother died in August. A few weeks later our Pastor John died, someone who I had worked closely with for five years and formed a close friendship with, sharing many thoughts, ideas, frustrations and concerns, and a couple of other friends passed away. 

I found myself being angry. If God is love as the Bible says, this didn’t feel like love. 

I prayed for the recovery of my sister, and we all prayed and believed John would win the battle, but they didn’t. Some of us had “visions” of healing for John, but it didn’t happen. 

So, what were we thinking? 

Imaginations? 

Wishful thinking? 

What was the point? 

Our Parish Chairman had said during John’s illness, “God tells us to ‘pray without ceasing’ “– so why did we all pray when it wasn’t going to actually happen. I believed it would happen – but it didn’t. I believed it was God’s will for John to live and that he would be healed and it would be a miracle. 

Sure, I know we all die eventually and I am at peace with my mother passing. I understand that ‘badness’ gets into things and it turns rotten so they die, it was just that it all happened in quick succession … and we had prayed….

What I didn’t understand is belief in God. 

How do we know that Jesus is God, was crucified, died and came alive again to then go into heaven?

It’s written in the Bible but, 

How do we know the Bible is true? 

I wanted to know, I kind of wanted to believe but how do I find the true facts.

I seemed to come into this space of being lost while in Wellington. 

I had been with Dad just on a month after mum’s passing to sort Mum’s clothes and other bits and pieces, on Dad's request, and to see Dad so overwhelmed with his grief; me having to leave and him not wanting me to, I was wondering where was the peace of God when he believed and needed it most. 

As I drove home on my own, I stopped to rest beside lake Taupo to have some fruit and just let myself relax a bit for the last part home. 

I watched the birds, the water, the lone bare tree and that’s how I felt. 

Alone, exposed and lost. God talks to me through nature and especially bird life. 

As I pondered, I didn’t feel God was there; I didn’t feel His comfort and I wondered if it was all true. 

By the time I got home, unpacked and ready for bed I was completely overwhelmed with it all and I cried, I sobbed and I just felt the weight of it all come upon me. My husband Harry found me and just held me and put me to bed. 

I was very low. 

I stopped going to 8.00am service. 

I stopped doing KFC church. 

I stopped going to mainly music 

I didn’t think I could be an elder. 

I stopped doing a lot of things… 

I emailed our Parish Chairman to say I wanted to withdraw from everything, maybe even Tirau Church, and he rung and asked why. I said I don’t know what I believe any more and he asked me to come and talk with his wife and him. 

We talked and they spoke the words we all speak about faith, believing and all that… I knew all that, but I wanted proof. 

They said read the Bible and let God talk to me. 

But I wanted truth. 

I wanted someone to physically show me and give me proof that God, the Bible … that it was all true. 

They prayed and I started a journal - a journey to find God. 

When you have been a Christian for a long time you just have the Truth fed into you and it’s trapped in there. 

By that I mean even when I was choosing to need evidence, God used all that was inside me (the Holy Spirit) to take me on this journey. 

I was having a personal battle really. All that was in me was there, but I was not wanting to believe it. 

A Crisis of Faith 

Now to start with, I needed confirmation that there is God. It’s all very fine to believe in the Bible but there needs to be a starting point. I asked Harry if he believed there was a God, ‘Do you believe in creation?’ His response was, “It didn’t just happen”. And with most things this man of wisdom was right. 

Even if the evolution theory was true, it still had to evolve somehow. Something or someone had to start it off. It didn’t just happen. 

God 

In my mind I set out believing, that I had chosen not to believe – like I am deciding that God has to prove Himself to me, as if to say “If you are really real – God – then I need you to do something.” Maybe a loud voice, maybe a vision or appearance. I didn’t know what, but I found myself wanting Him to do something. 

The Parish Chairman had suggested I read Psalm 119 so that was where I started and I found it echoed how I felt. 

25 I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. 

27 Cause me to understand the way of your precepts, that I may meditate on your wonderful deeds. 

28 My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. 

29 Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me and teach me your law. 

33 Teach me, Lord, the way of your decrees, that I may follow it to the end. 

34 Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law and obey it with all my heart. 

35 Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. 

36 Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. 

37 Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word. 

38 Fulfill your promise to your servant, so that you may be feared.  

So I prayed

See I thought I didn’t believe but I still did what was second nature and I prayed. 

I sat in silence waiting – and nothing profound happened. But still those thoughts came in to my head. Pieces of scripture, things we are told, but I wondered is it God or is it just me recalling all that I knew.

As I said, one thing with being a Christian for so long is we are fed by the reading of scripture, we are encouraged by people’s faith, testimonies, sermons and good books, songs and YouTube clips. And with the Holy Spirit in us that is all stored up without us really realizing it. Then when we need it, the Spirit brings it to mind. 

So, if we decide to not believe it any more, it shouldn’t keep coming to mind to remind us, should it? 

But I couldn’t help it constantly being recalled to me. It’s like it won’t let me break away, I now know it was the Holy Spirit. 

I realised that God is a creator God, so He does exist. 

But what about the Bible? I didn’t know. 

I supposed because it tells us about the creator God it must be true, but how do we know? How can you trust it without proof? 

Then I find myself wanting to believe. Everything I’ve read and can recall in the Bible comes to mind – telling me. So, do I just believe? … because it’s the thing to do? 

The next time I went to church I was really hoping to hear something that would firm everything up for me but it was a quest speaker and he was speaking to the rest of the congregation not me (so it felt) and I left desperate to get away and home, but not before "R" wanted to hug me and pray, and "M.1" followed me to the car saying she wanted to catch up with me. 

Once home I felt safe and txt "M.1" 

"M.2" txt to see if she could come and see how I was and I said no. Hmm, "M.2" had other ideas and appeared. She listened and prayed and held me while I cried. 

I wrote in my journal that day, “I just felt so sad and lost again. I realize I wanted to hear – what I wanted to hear, but didn’t (at church), but what ‘did’ I want to hear. That God is real, because…. Not just because the Bible says, because who says the Bible is true. I just didn’t know it anymore – what is true? 

What IS true? 

I decided to google Christianity – what is it? 

Wikipedia said: 

• Belief in God the Father, Jesus Christ as the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit 

• The death, descent into hell, resurrection and ascension of Christ 

• The holiness of the Church and the communion of saints 

• Christ's second coming, the Day of Judgement and salvation of the faithful 

A BBC page said: 

Christians believe in justification by faith - that through their belief in Jesus as the Son of God, and in his death and resurrection, they can have a right relationship with God whose forgiveness was made once and for all through the death of Jesus Christ. 

Justification by faith – a person can achieve salvation only through faith and reliance on God's grace, Dictionary.com 

It all came back to Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 

 

Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. 

Believe God exists! Like Thomas I want to see. 

(Read John 20:25-29) 

John 20:25 So the other disciples told him (Thomas), “We have seen the Lord!” 

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” 

John 20:29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” 

Thomas got to see, he even got to touch. Jesus even said those who don’t see but believe are blessed. Jesus had also said “Stop doubting and believe” (V27) 

Part of me just wanted to believe, but the other part – the part that was struggling and wanted to make sense of all this wanted proof. Proof that God is real – that the Bible is God breathed.

How did it come to this? As "M.2" had asked “When did this thinking come in? when did it all change?"

In my leaving my father and unable to help. 

I pondered all this and that I’d been wanting some huge revelation – a vision, a loud voice, a shaking or message. I realised I WANT THIS. In all my grief, my loneliness, my overwhelming despair, I wanted something to show me “He IS”. 

In the following couple of weeks God carried me through and showed me the Truth. Through reading blogs on the internet, listening to podcasts, reading the Bible I came to believe; God is real, the Bible is the truth and I have been saved by His work He finished on the cross and entered heaven to prepare a place for us. No loud voices or messages, shakings or bright lights but in the way that He has always shown me, He came through. 

I remember in the journal I finished with the story of the lost sheep Luke 15:3–7 and how God searched for me and carried me home. There was joy that I realized He would do that for me. 

Little did I know how much this whole experience was not just because of the low time I had fallen into and a need to know the truth, but it was to make me stronger, to cement my faith and that it would indeed save me. 

In March last year the first time God needed me to trust in Him happened when I was rushed to Hospital with Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome. 

Through a continuing series of circumstances, I ended up in hospital and had corrective surgery to laser burn off an electrical pathway in my heart that I had been born with but never had properly diagnosed. This although not a too common mistake was a straightforward procedure and I was home within less than a week. 

Since then I have posted a grateful post on Facebook every day for 18 months minus 3 or 4 days. I’ve since changed it to something that makes me smile 

Life ticked along and although COVID is still around, my dad has deteriorated I was comfortable in what I believed. 

Matthew 10:27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 

Matthew 10:29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. 32 “Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven.

Then Friday September 10th happened

Gratefulness

 After my experience of Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome and understanding how bad the undetected outcome could have been I was very grateful that ...

Something made me stop
That because the helicopter flew low over our house 
Harry came out to look at it and found me
He knew something was wrong and rung 111 
The medics were just back from a previous emergency so didn't take long to get there
They were experienced to note I had had a cardiac episode
Because I was stuck in triage for 6 hours the young doctor was on his shift by then 
He took the time to read my history notes and guessed what the problem was. 
He admitted me and the medical staff took care of the rest
and so I was checked, tested and had surgery to correct it

I believe that God had it all in hand and the circumstances were all part of His provision. I am extremely grateful for this. If I focus on the sad things that affect me (and I won't name any of them), I lose sight of all I have to be grateful for. 

Sometimes it can be very obvious, other times not so much and others might take a bit of thought to realize how blessed we are for something so that we can be thankful and grateful for it.

So I decided to make a grateful post every day on Facebook for a year.  If I keep it up for a whole year that will be 365 things. The year is nearly up and I will have to see if I want to keep doing it as many people say they look for my grateful posts each day. Being so grateful for so many circumstances on that day I realized that we all have a lot to be grateful for everyday, we just have to look for it.

If you are a "friend" of mine on Facebook you will have seen them and if not I don't have a public account so you wont see them. I know some of my regular readers are not on Facebook at all so wont have seen them so I am going to post a few on here.

April 3

Today I am grateful for our bed. Its not a hotel room or something from a home magazine, but it is a place I love. I rest, get a good night's sleep as there is no TV or other distractions and the bed is comfortable. The colour green is restful and the bedding soft. I am grateful for my bed

April 4 

Today I'm grateful for hollow Easter eggs. They remind me that the tomb was empty

April 5

Today I am grateful for community. I couldn't think of a picture so this is our street sign. Today Harry has been splitting wood for an older neighbour as she couldn't do it herself. We have been putting out excess feijoas for free and today a lady gave me a handful of cherry tomatoes as she had extras, in exchange, not that I was wanting anything but we will have them for tea. A small community/street like ours just connect. I am grateful for neighbours

April 6 

Some of you may cringe .. but 

Today I am grateful for spiders We have a couple of big ones who take up residence. One in the kitchen (this one) and one out the front door. (Harry tends to feed that one) They make a web and catch all sorts of flies and insects and eat them. I think of Charlotte, from Charlotte's Web and let her be. I'm grateful  for spiders

April 7

Today I am grateful for empty changing rooms. Today I resumed going to Swimzone in Matamata for aquatics. After, I like to take my togs off and shower all the pool water smell off, and there are usually other ladies so you try to be quick and discreet. But today I was on my own in these rooms and so just got changed at my own pace. I am grateful for privacy

April 8

Today I am grateful for Harry's wood splitter. I don't actually use the splitter myself but today Harry and Daniel processed 2 Ute fills of wood for winter. They chain sawed the logs, split them into fire size pieces then stacked them under cover. I'm grateful for easy wood splitting

April 9

Today I am grateful  for Harry helping to pick up our feijoas. We have two feijoa trees and for years while the children were still at home we used to send them out to pick up the fruit and they really hated doing it. Last year Daniel was living at home while we were in lockdown for COVID and it was so nice not to have to crawl under the trees so much myself. This year its just us two and it seems since my little (big) hospital trip Harry has helped do things and one is to come out with me to gather them with me. We put the bags out the gate for people to take for free. I'm grateful for helping hands

April 10

Today I am grateful for surprise dates. Out of the blue Harry said would you like to go out for dinner and maybe catch a movie, you'd like that wouldn't you? Well yes - who wouldn't? Now those of you who know us (Harry) well, will know that's not a common thing in our lives, so of course I said yes! We went to Cambridge to Tivoli Cinema and saw "Then Came You", having hot drinks, cake and popcorn Then to The Good George for a shared taco platter and drinks I'm grateful for dates

April 11

Today I am grateful for Wesley McLay. Wes is from Tauranga and works within the Mental Health and well-being sector. Today he preached for us at the Tirau Community Church as our Pastor John is no longer with us. Today he preached from Psalms 23:4 showing that many people from the Bible suffered from bouts of depression and other aspects of Mental Health and called out to God in ways very similar to David in Psalms 23:4.Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (NIV) I was reminded of my low times and comforted by the reminder that I am never alone and others feel the same. I am grateful for preachers

April 12

Today I am grateful for warm Autumn days. Because of a few wet days and not always having a lot of washing the washing pile was getting big. I also change the sheets on a Monday. I always separate my coloured's from my whites and towels so today I had three loads to go out. I also go to aquaerobics on a Monday morning  followed by a chai latte with the ladies. I then got groceries so it was lunchtime by the time I got home. But today was warm with a bit of a breeze so I was able to get all the washing done, dry. I am grateful for dry washing days.

April 13

Today I am grateful for grandchildren. In particular the Stone family I went to Hamilton to look after them as Jennifer had parent teacher interviews after school until late. So we made blueberry muffins and had fun. I am grateful for family.

April 14
Today I am grateful for aquaerobics. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I go through to Matamata to the pools and join a group of ladies (and the occasional man) for 45 minutes of directed aerobics in the heated pools. I have very sore knees so doing these exercises in the water means less impact and pain on the knees. I'm in the process of waiting for knee replacement so this helps keep me fit but not in so much pain. Today I am grateful for water exercises

April 15

Today I am grateful for homegrown potatoes Harry has always grown our potatoes like his father did. It's a continuing experiment with brands and planting times. This is a Rua potato (and its was about 880gr) and is from his second plantings. We have been eating our own since before Christmas. The last time I brought potatoes was in October. I am grateful for Harry's potatoes

April 16

Today I am grateful for Grandparents Day. Tirau school has it's day when Grandparents can come and join in with some class work and be with their grandchildren. Sarah and Carl have moved back close to Tirau and their children now go to Tirau School. It can be a bit hard to spend time with both grandchildren but their other grandparents were there so they ended up with double visits. Isla did a family tree and Sean did a grandparents poem and we helped with the decorating.  I am grateful for grandchildren

April 17

Today I am grateful for new gates. We have hens that we let out to roam around the section but sometimes they wonder out the driveway and up the neighbour's looking for bread to eat. The lady in the next house over used to drop her bread over the fence as she knew the hens would come up and get it. We have just got new neighbours and so they don't get cross Harry finally hung the gate Steven dropped off over a year ago. Now the chooks won't be going anywhere! Today I am grateful for gates

April 18

Today I am grateful  for homegrown beetroot. We have a vegetable garden where we grow most of the vegetables we eat. I don't have a huge success with it all but I keep at it. I often plant beetroot seeds and they come up with varying numbers. Last year after my dear sister died we helped a little at her house with her daughters and family to sort of empty it but also take what we wanted, and we took home all her seeds. She had a variety of seeds for each type of vegetable including beetroot so I planted a few to see what they'd be like. There were the usual red and some pinker variety. I had five come up and have now pickled them for salads and my homemade burgers Today I am grateful for beetroot

April 19

Today I am grateful for Road trips with Harry. We have finally gone on our Easter holiday to Wellington to see my Dad and Resa and family. I know, a bit late, but I wasn't up to it after my heart issue. But now we have driven down and I didn't do any of the driving. Its a 6 hour drive including a couple of stops for food, fuel and 🚻 but I do my knitting. I drive myself when I come down on my own but it was nicer not to have Harry drive. I am grateful for safe travels.

April 20

Today I am grateful for my Dad. Last year he lost his eldest daughter/child to bowel cancer. He also had his wife of nearly 68 years pass away at the age of 90. He still lives in their large home on his own with the help of a morning and evening carer visit and meals-on-wheels. My brothers and sister-in-laws keep a watch on him as well. Today we went into town to get some groceries and for Dad to do an errand he wanted to do. He can't drive now so I took him. He walked quite a long way and back, from the car on his own. He said he had a few people ask him if he needed help. He was quite proud he'd walked that far and so was I. This is not the best pics, but .. Today I am grateful (and blessed) for my Dad.

April 21

Today I am grateful for warm sunny rooms. We are spending a few days with my Dad at the family home of over 54 years. There are lovely big windows in the lounge and dining room so when the sun shines it gets really warm. We had a relaxing day just chatting in the warm. Today I am grateful for sunny spaces.

April 22

Ok so ... Today I am grateful for glass tumblers I know previously I posted about my friendly spider on the ceiling in my kitchen, but this one is different. Harry and I were just having a last cuppa for the night, when a rather large spider, about 4 cm wide/long decided to just walk across the floor at my feet. I couldn't believe the size! Fortunately we had an empty glass tumbler close by so Harry caught the under it and with the help of an old card and me opening the back door he was able to put it outside. Today I am grateful for glassware!

April 23

Today I am grateful for coming home. If you've been following along you will know we've been away for a few days visiting my Dad. Travelling home was awful with general traffic during the day, school holiday traffic and then its the ANZAC weekend which means a long weekend and so it was a very slow drive home. But home now and my lap rug is so pleased to see me she has settled in. Harry's lit the fire and although its not cold its cozy and it's home. Today I am grateful for home

April 24

Today I am grateful for YouTube. I know a bit different but with the presence of this I can watch all sorts of things in particular Shiver Me Tingles   This is my youngest daughter. Without going into details it means I get to see and hear her which, for those who know, is a real blessing. Today I am grateful for YouTube

April 25
Today I am grateful for ANZAC Day. On this day of 25th April every year in New Zealand 🇳🇿 and Australia 🇦🇺 we remember not only our ANZAC's but all those who went to war and fought for peace in WW1, WW2 and many other wars, especially those who gave of their lives, but also those who were blessed to return. Today I was the Lay Minister at Tirau's service of which there were over 100 people including adults and children. Some mentioned they had never been before. Today I am grateful for our ANZAC'S

April 26

Today I am grateful for 'lost gardens ' I know strange post but yesterday I spent some time working in our vegetable garden. Over the last 16 months with stuff going on in our lives both emotional, spiritual, physical and all the things going on around us, I didn't do a lot of gardening. I'd pop out for a bit and do some planting or weeding but not like I used to and I was late with things like tomatoes, capsicum, pumpkins and cucumbers so there's not a lot going on out there. I decided it was time to get out and see what had survived. After the weeding I was pleased to find a few vegetables and others still coming on. Today I am grateful for forgotten gardens

April 27

Today I am grateful for leftovers. Because I worked in the garden most of the afternoon yesterday we decided to get takeaways for tea. We didn't quite finish it so it got put in the fridge. Today I wanted something warm for lunch so I heated it up with some other bits and had a yummy 'sweet and sour' lunch. Today I am grateful for leftovers

April 28

Today I am grateful for chooks. Harry has been cutting some firewood from a friends place and there have been lots of huhu grubs in them when he splits the rings. He saves then in a tray and when there is enough for sharing he gives them to the hens ... and they have a party. Someone somewhere would probably say they'd eat them and they taste like peanut butter but we'll let the hens decide! Today I am grateful for the hens

April 29

Today I am grateful for my clothes dryer. I have had my dryer for over 40 years and it's still going strong. I haven't used it a lot as I normally dry our clothes outside or undercover in the garage or on the drying rack by the fireplace. Sometimes I finish off the damp things on top of the hot water cylinder. Today the washing got dry outside but the towels were a bit stiff as there was no wind, so I popped them in the dryer for 15 minutes which makes them nice and fluffy. Today I am grateful for dryers

April 30

A few years ago now, I spent some time at a lovely place called the Titoki Healing Centre. They have beautiful gardens as just one of the many things that make the retreat a wonderful place to rest and heal. The Burgundy Iceberg Floribunda Rose caught my eye and I bought myself one. It's doing a last flowering before the cold of winter and when I see it flower it makes me smile and long to go there again. Today I am grateful for Burgundy Rose

My WPW Syndrome Expereince

Saturday 20th March 2021 I was weeding and tidying up our driveway garden. This runs from the gate by the footpath to a point halfway up the side of the house. It usually takes me a couple of days as it involves a lot of bending, pulling and emptying bins of weeds and pruning’s, so I would have to rest.

The classic comment from Harry would be, 

“You’re not over doing it are you?” to which I would respond, “Yes”, so he would tell me to go and lie down. 

I hated this, but knew I had to and after a good half hour or so I was able to get back up and go back outside. 

On this particular Saturday I was determined to get the whole garden finished and so went out after tea at about 7.00pm for about 20 minutes. As I was nearing completion, I noticed my vision was a little blurry and checked to see if I had the right glasses on. At about the same time the fire siren went up which for our town means the volunteer fire brigade are called down to the station and go out, more times than not, to an emergency or medical call rather than a fire. 

I started to tidy up and as I finished, I was feeling very fatigued again. Coming up to our back deck I felt exhausted and wanted to get up he steps to go inside, but all I could manage was to lean and sit against the steps. I was desperate to sit or lie down but just couldn’t. I felt like I was going to collapse and I was shaking and sweating. 

A helicopter came over the house meaning the fire call was quite a bad medical emergency. Harry came out to see where it was landing and saw me. 

He looked at me saying, “Is that helicopter for you?”! 

I said “I think so” I was sweating, finding it hard to breath and really not fully in control of what I was doing. He asked if I had been over doing it again and I said I was awful and then couldn’t talk well. Harry looked at me and said, “I’m calling 111”

 

The siren went up again and then because the emergency services were still out for the other call they were around to our house in no time.

I had numerous tests while still out on the steps and was told I had had a cardiac event and would need to go to hospital. I was supported to the ambulance, given relief and oxygen and we went to Waikato hospital in Hamilton. Arriving in triage at 9.20pm I was checked out and the trolley I was on was wheeled into a cubical where I waited to be seen in the Emergency Department. 

It’s a bit of an education to be there on a Saturday night! Six hours later I was seen by a young doctor who listened to my story, took some bloods and checked me out, saying, I seemed to be OK now so he would just write up a report and send me home. 

What seemed like over an hour later he returned to say there had been a change of plan. He had read up my past notes on file and saw that Wolff Parkinson White (WPW) had been seen before. I thought he meant some sort of specialist and wondered why I hadn’t remembered a man’s, name like that. He then explained it was to do with my heart. I told him about other times while working in the garden or going for walks up hill etc. He had spoken to cardiology and they wanted me admitted for testing and maybe surgery. I am so thankful that this busy ED doctor took the time to read through my notes.

Finally, later that Sunday evening I was taken up to the cardio ward and so begun three days of testing and monitoring and eventual surgery. I had a heart beat monitor attached to me at all times and it hung around my neck even when I was showering. I also had to have a treadmill test which was stopped before it went too far as it showed the WPW syndrome. 

On Monday evening the team decided that I was to have the procedure, an ablation, but had to wait as there were more urgent patients scheduled the next day so it would be Wednesday. I was told that once I had had “the burn” as they called it, I will be rearing to go like never before. 

Praise God for wise young doctors who read all your history notes. 

The surgery was done with just a local and although it took a few times for pain to be blocked it was successful, my heart stimulated to test it and then all was well. I went home the next day. 

I must admit it has made the world of difference but it took a few weeks to recover and really notice the improvement

Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome

As I mentioned in the blog post below I had a week in hospital in March with Wolff Parkinson White syndrome.

I had a time in Hospital in March after a Wolff Parkinson White syndrome, incident and correction.

Don’t worry I didn’t know what it was either before I was diagnosed with it.

In 1915, Frank Norman Wilson (1890–1952) became the first to describe the condition later called Wolff–Parkinson–White syndrome. Alfred M. Wedd (1887–1967) was the next to describe the condition in 1921. Cardiologists Louis Wolff (1898–1972), John Parkinson (1885–1976) and Paul Dudley White (1886–1973) are credited with the definitive description of the disorder in 1930.

The definition is: 

A syndrome in which an extra signaling electrical pathway in the heart causes a rapid heartbeat (tachycardia).  

The extra electrical pathway in Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome appears between the heart's upper and lower chambers and is present at birth. (congenital heart defect). WPW is the most common type of ventricular preexcitation (preexcitation: the impulses travel to the ventricle earlier than what you would expect them to if they travelled down the normal pathway through the AV node).

The atrioventricular (AV) node is a small structure in the heart, located in the Koch triangle.

The AV node controls the passage of the heart's electrical signal from the atria (upper chamber) to the ventricles (lower chamber). After an electrical impulse is generated by the sinus node (located at the top of the right atrium), it spreads across both atria (right and left upper chambers), causing these chambers to beat.

In saying that WPW is also fairly rare, occurring randomly in the general population, in about 1 to 3 per 1,000 persons. In the general population, men have a higher incidence of WPW than women do, and there is a higher incidence of multiple accessory pathways in men.

Symptoms most often appear between the ages of 11 and 50. The condition is discovered by chance during a heart exam. They usually aren't life-threatening, but serious heart problems can occur. Rarely, WPW syndrome may lead to sudden cardiac death in children and young adults.

Some cases of WPW are inherited. Parents who have accessory pathways may pass them on to their children. One paper suggested the incidence of preexcitation in first-degree relatives could be as high as 5.5 per 1,000 persons. About 7 to 20 percent of patients with WPW also have congenital defects within the heart.

Common Symptoms are

• A rapid, fluttering or pounding heartbeat
• Dizziness or light-headedness
• Shortness of breath
• Fatigue
• Anxiety
• Chest pain
• Difficulty breathing
• Fainting

It can begin suddenly, lasting a few seconds or several hours, during rest or exercise

Cause

The extra electrical pathway is caused by an abnormal gene that connects the atria (upper chamber) and ventricles (lower chamber), allowing electrical impulses to bypass the AV node. This detour activates the ventricles too early and also transmit electrical impulses from the ventricles back to the atria disrupting the co-ordinated movement of the electrical signals through the heart, leading to changes in the heart rhythm.

Tests

• Electrocardiography ECG
• Holter monitoring – 24 hours +
• Electrophysiological studies – treadmill test.

Treatment 

This may involve the use of medication or a catheter procedure to stop the irregular heart rhythm (arrhythmia), a procedure known as ablation. Thin, flexible tubes (catheters) are threaded through blood vessels to your heart. Low-voltage, high-frequency electrical energy at the catheter tip are heated to destroy (ablate) the extra electrical pathway causing your condition.
In rare instances, an electric shock may be used to restore a normal rhythm. (cardioversion) 

WPW syndrome may also be called preexcitation syndrome.

Apparently, I have had Wolff Parkinson White syndrome diagnosed before but I was never told, or don’t remember.

I have never been one to play much sport and in fact when I did do things like go for long walks, especially going uphill, I would feel exhausted and have heart palpitations that I thought was just an indication of being unfit. Running was never a strong point either and I longed to be able to go for a jog but it was just too much effort.

My next post will be about what happened to me.

New Year Up date

At the beginning of 2021 I posted a pic and post on Facebook, reflecting on 2020 and looking forward to 2021 and what it had in store. 

 What a year. 

 I said goodbye to my sister and mother and a couple of dear friends. 

 Harry spent time in hospital... 

 Oh and we had (are still having) a world wide pandemic. 

 Today was like many days ... 

 Daniel called in 

 We went and did some errands, got seeds etc for the garden and had coffee out. 

 Chatted to a few friends and now as the evening draws in I wonder "What will 2021 be?" 

 Already there are things in my diary I am not looking forward to but have to do. 

 But one thing I have learnt in 2020 is that no matter what 

 No matter how far I fall 

 No matter how small my faith 

 God will carry me through and we will come out stronger in what ever area He wants to build in us. 

 May 2021 make you stronger dear friend 

Little did I know what I would be facing in 2021! 

The post came up as "Memories" on my Facebook page and I pondered what I had said and where I was then. 

So at the beginning of this year I posted it again as a memory adding ... 

Who would have thought this year could get any worse than last year 

The Pandemic has taken on new twists and turns both here in New Zealand and the rest of the world, as we struggle from the Delta and now the Omicron variants. 

I had a time in Hospital in March after a Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, incident and correction.  

I had spent quite a few times, flying to Wellington to visit my father who is remarkably still with us at 92, even though he has had declining health this year. 

I truly had started making some tidy up plans and new garden ideas that all came crashing down, just like I did on that fateful Friday the 10th of September. 

Since that life changing event I have had no other thing to do, but look after myself with the amazing help of family and friends, both old and new. 

There are so many who have helped to carry me, and Harry through this time, I don't want to mentioned names. 

But this journey is not over yet with still months of recovery, I never thought I would still be in hospital at the end of 2021. 

But as I have said... 

"that no matter what 

No matter how far I fall 

No matter how small my faith 

God will carry me through and we will come out stronger in what ever area He wants to build in us"

Who would have thought? 

Just know I am living proof of this ❤ 

Over the next few months I will try and post regularly so you can read what happened in 2021

Musings From Kerre Woodham’s Musings From Middle Age

I have just finished reading this book, Musings From Middle Age, that I have had in my collection for a number of years – you know that stack of books by your bedside table … but mine flows under the dressing table as well!

I bought this book one day at Paper Plus when Kerre was actually there doing a book signing. It was a quiet day and she chatted briefly and wrote in my book 

"To dear Fiona with five kids. I hope you get a change to sit down, relax and read this! Happy reading. Love Kerre x”

At that time, I think we had our youngest just move to Christchurch so I was going through the empty nest stage in life. I can tell you back then, it may have been over ten years since our first child had left home and by then I was used to one less in the household every couple of years (and some aspects hubby and I were looking forward to!) but, there is still a grief to go through when indeed all your children have moved out and no longer need your daily input! 

I suspect Kerre was in awe that I had raised five children as she only had one. But for me that was my choice and I did love it. I was lucky that I didn’t have to work in paid employment until I took some part time work later once all the children were at school. We may not have done the best, as one has indicated (no longer having contact without letting us know what the issues were so we can all talk and understand, respond and heal) but we did what we knew and learned along the way. Every child/family/situation is different so there are no rule books on how to do it. Even if there are books giving advice and ways to work through all these times there are never two situations the same. 

And that is where I come to the point of this post. 

I read Kerre’s book and it was an easy fun book with short chapters making it ideal to pick up and read when there were little pockets of time to do so. This is Kerre’s third book and so is no famous author and will be better known for her work in the earlier days of Fair Go, as a New Zealand journalist and ‘one of New Zealand’s best loved personalities as she dishes up a bold, sharp and energetic show Monday to Friday 9am-12md’ on newstalk ZB.

Now I’ve never written a book and admit English was not my best or favourite subject. I couldn’t spell (the wonders of spell check weren’t around in ‘the olden days’), reading out loud was one of my biggest fears as I just didn’t know what or how to pronounce some of the words and my life was reasonably sheltered so there were no big subjects to write about. Writing a book is quite an accomplishment and I take my hat off to those who do and get them published. 

So when I logged my completion of reading this book on my “Goodreads” challenge for 2021 I scrolled down and read some of the comments. I often wonder what would people say if they spoke to the people their comments are aimed at in person (face-to-face), if they would say what they write or if they hide behind their keyboards giving off their energetic ‘hates’ with no fear of retaliation. 

Here are some of the comments: 

Jo rated it 1* did not like it/ didn’t-finish. - Depressing ageist gender-role reinforcement. I'm really not sure why this book exists. I'm pretty sure that women are getting told by plenty of other sources that once they hit 40 they become invisible and hideous, that regardless of whether they fight or succumb to (the inevitable) aging they will appear ridiculous and an object of mockery, and oh yes, in case you forgot- you're old and you're ugly. Maybe if you are lucky you will score a bloke who still sees you as the young hottie you once were. But you will have to nag him to death, because that's just the way things are. 

Jill rated it 1* did not like it. - Kerre Woodham what were you thinking? You warn in your book “only intended for the eyes of women aged 40 plus”. Well I would say more like 90 plus … and not at all if you are a woman. If dear reader, you have picked up this book thinking it will be like Woodham’s “Fat Chick” books then you will be sadly disappointed as it is just Woodham’s take on the aging process. I will confess that I only read the first 55 pages, so perhaps there is some improvement thereafter? Maybe someone would like to read ‘Musings from Middle Age ‘and tell me if it gets better? But I myself was not prepared to waste any more time on it. As a woman of a certain age, (the same age as Woodham actually) I have noticed that I have become invisible, gravity has kicked in and wobbly bits abound, but I have reached a degree of acceptance – I mean if Rachel Hunter can’t get a man then why should my singledom bother me unduly. However, am I really expected to believe that the gorgeous, blonde bombshell, and raconteur extraordinaire, Kerre Woodham, with her large as life personality, has become invisible - I don’t think so! If a publisher wants a book written on the subject of aging gracefully, why not choose an author who has a few more years under their belt. This book makes me feel like an aging harridan! I still have a good 40 years in me for goodness sake – 60 is the new middle age! This book made me so angry. However if you are a man, and want to know why your wife, sister, mother, life partner or whatever, is angry or moody all the time – then read this by all means – you might find it funny – unfortunately, I certainly didn’t.

Rebecca rated it 1* did not like it/not-finished. - Sorry Kerre. I like you but this book is crap!

The books back cover reads: 

Is there an invisible line we cross at a certain age when we become ‘un-chat-up-able’ and become someone’s mum? When do barmen and supermarket check-out operators start calling us ‘madam’ and why do some women have the unnatural urge to cut their own hair with nail scissors or run away to Buddhist retreats when they hit forty?

In this hilarious collection of stories from the brink of middle age, Kerre shares her insights into what makes us tick as women ‘of a certain age’. Topics explored include: coping with the empty nest; shoes, shoes and other indulgences; when is it futile to dress to impress? is there such a thing as a female mid-life crisis? and many more. Told in Kerre’s frank and self-deprecating style, this is a hilarious account of living life to the fullest - no matter what your age. 

The Goodreads website comments: 

A laugh-out-loud account of one woman's journey to the brink of middle age as she discovers her new place in the grand scheme of things. Is there an invisible line we cross at a certain age when we become ‘un-chat-up-able’ and become someone’s mum? When do barmen and supermarket check-out operators start calling us ‘madam’ and why do some women have the unnatural urge to cut their own hair with nail scissors or run away to Buddhist retreats when they hit forty? In this hilarious collection of stories from the brink of middle age, Kerre shares her insights into what makes us tick as women ‘of a certain age’. Topics explored include: coping with the empty nest; shoes, shoes and other indulgences; when is it futile to dress to impress?; is there such a thing as a female mid-life crisis?; and many more. Told in Kerre’s frank and self-deprecating style, this is a hilarious account of living life to the fullest - no matter what your age.

 “Jo” it would seem back then, that she(or maybe it’s a he) has either been through that stage and feels “invisible and hideous, …. appears ridiculous and an object of mockery, … old and ugly” and if she was “lucky” may have scored a bloke who still sees her as the young hottie she once was. But I sure hope she hasn’t nagged him to death, because that isn’t the way things are. Jo would also discover that Kerre is married to her Irishman who seems to adore her.

“Jill” seemed to want a lot more out of this book than she read in “the first 55 pages”. No the book was not the same as her “Fat Chick” books, by why do they have to be? Why does an author have to write the same sort of books all the time? Yes it is “just Woodham’s take on the aging process.” So why expect more? If Jill had read more she may have found the book a light laugh along as she admitted she was the same age and just enjoy it. 

And that is what the book is – a sort of autobiography of Kerre’s “middle years” with no suggestion to use it as a failproof guide but one that will make you smile, maybe even laugh out loud, screw your mouth up in disgust or maybe (in my case) nod your head understandingly thinking “and you wait until the next stage!”

Good on you Kerre, I enjoyed it.