Monday, June 7, 2010

The First Day of The Rest of My Life

This morning I was woken by the phone. The walk around phone wasn't beside the bed and neither was my husband so I thought he would answer it. He didn't and after a little doze it rung again. I rushed to the living area to answer it and realised it was 9.30am. What a sleep in!! I needed it.

But I seemed to waste the rest of the morning and I felt a sense of lowness and depression on me. Living with mental illness around you can bring you down too.
Catching sight of myself in the mirror after I had showered, I was shocked at what looked back at me. I am now the heaviest I have ever been [75kg] and my hands and feet are swelling. I can't bend down to put on my shoes. I comfort eat and haven't walked or done any exercise in months.
"Oh Lord" I cried' "This is enough. I need your help"

The words from a song came to mind.
This is the day, This is the day,
That the Lord has made,
That the Lord has made
I will rejoice,
I will rejoice and be glad in it,
and be glad in it.
This is the day that Lord has made,
I will rejoice and be glad in it.
This is the day, this is the day
that the Lord has made.

I made a commitment to myself - 'This is the first day of the rest of my life' - and with God on my side I will
return to who He has made me to be.
Where to start? A few changes and getting back to routines.

• stop the junk food and sweet comfort eating
• drink more water
• go for a daily walk
• re-start my flylady routines

That was enough for one week - I don't want to make the list unachievable.
Breakfast was 1/4 cup of canned fruit salad with a small handful of sultanas, pumpkin seeds and a sliced banana.
I filled my water bottle and started my daily routine adapted from Flylady
• Get out of bed and make it
• Shower, weigh, get dressed to shoes fixing make up, hair and jewellery
• Swish and wipe the bathroom and toilet
• Start a load of washing
• Get meat out for tea
• Check calendar for appointments
• Have breakfast
• Take tablets
• Fill water bottle
• Empty dishwasher
• Clear hot spots
• Feed animals.

Looking at this photo taken this morning makes me feel awful bit it also makes me determined to love myself and be well.
As much as I love my new purple slippers, wearing clean shoes inside gives you a sense of purpose; lipstick, perfume and jewellery makes me feel good.
I made the bed making the room feel relaxing and welcoming.
The list of basic chores gets the house in order ready for what ever else needs doing.
Just completing this routine gives a great sense of satisfaction.
I went for two walks today and didn't eat any junk food or cakes.

I will see how I feel after a week.


  1. I love to wear my slippers inside and be as comfortable as I can be. Winter is a time for hibernation and good food as far as I'm concerned. Just cut out the 'stodge' and fats.
    I also try not to see myself in the mirror first thing in the morning. Haha!
    You look ok to me but maybe that's because I'm your friend!

  2. Thanks Maa, you are an inspiration to me. I am just trying what I know works for me, by the evening I am snuggling in my slippers as I have finished "the work"

  3. Good for you. Making small achievable changes is the way to go - and they soon add up. This is a good start - well done :)

  4. Baby steps, I find it is a lot easier to write a list so I have something to cross off. But also once I was told to write my list the night before and then pray over it surrendering it to God and asking for him to give me the strength to do it. Because on our own we will never ever be good enough... only He makes us good enough. Hey I was wondering what church you go to?

  5. Baby Steps, do you know Flylady too.;)
    I was brought up a Presbyterian but the church here in Tirau is the only one.
    It is under the head ship or Anglican and Presbyterian church and is a co-operating church. We are quite "live" to use a word and most people are born again and some not under any sort of a denomination. There are two services; 8.00am is Anglican Eucharist Communion (small numbers of about 10 and I lead the Liturgy every 3rd week)10.00am is a worship service were the band leads the worship time there is time for sharing, prayer and the sermon and this can last up to 2 hours but more often 1 and half. Once a month there is communion and I help with that and also play guitar every third week as we have 3 music teams.