Showing posts with label Mental Illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mental Illness. Show all posts

Monday, October 26, 2020

Where do I start?


Some of you will be aware that its nearly a year since I last posted here on my blog.

Others will just have chanced upon here and be none the wiser...

But we all know that 2020 is and will be known as, and I quote Queen Elizabeth II in a speech she made at Guildhall on 24 November 1992, an "annus horribilis"  - meaning "horrible year". 

If you have been living in outer space or closer to the earth in the deepest parts of Africa you may not know that 2020 is the year that the world was infected with COVID-19.

COVID-19 is a disease caused by a new strain of coronavirus. 'CO' stands for corona, 'VI' for virus, and 'D' for disease. Formerly, this disease was referred to as '2019 novel coronavirus' or '2019-nCoV.'   

For most of us our lives have changed and millions have been infected (at this time the world total is 43,355,163) and many lives have been lost (at the same date 1,159,200). We are now seeing a second wave across the world and some predict it will be with us for another year. [statistics taken from Worldometer]

We wash our hands a lot more than we used to, use hand sanitizer before and after we go in to shops, cafes, appointments etc and keep our distances. We keep records of where we've been and who we have been with and in New Zealand we now use the NZ COVID tracer app. We are reminded to cough and sneeze into our elbow. In the past you went to work when you were unwell after dosing up on some flu relief medication, but now we stay home and check to see if we need a COVID test. So much for the old advertisement slogan "Solider on with Coldral".

I admit this all threw me into a bout of anxiety especially when New Zealand went into 'lockdown' and I felt we were coming out of each level too soon, but it always seem to be OK and the rest of the world looked at New Zealand in awe at what we have achieved.

But 2020 was more than just the stress of COVID for me.

In January we lost my sister Ailsa to bowel cancer.

Mum turned 90 in April but we were in lockdown so it passed uneventfully. We thought we could celebrate her 91st next year instead, but...

In August Mum passed away to be with her Lord and Saviour.

In less than a month our pastor John, who I had worked along side and become very close to as a friend and colleague, passed away too from cancer.

Not to mention another friend who died within a week of that.

So yes this year has been sit (opps missed out the "h"😉) and its only October!

That is why I haven't been up to writing much especially on here. 

Over the last month or so I had a crisis of faith. God remained faithful and took me on a journey, even though at the time, I didn't think He was there at all and I am now on a new path and keen to get back to things again. 

You may wonder "Why the picture at the top?" When I was struggling with it all, I stopped by Lake Taupo on my way home from a trip to Wellington, to see my Dad. As I sat and watched the water, the birds and realized how I was feeling, this tree was just there - all on its own. 

And that was how I felt.

All alone.

But, as I have said, I have come through and the desire to post again was only held back by, "Where do I start?"



Saturday, June 29, 2019

Just For Today

Do you ever have one of those days… or weeks... or maybe even a year?
Well so far this year – yes the first five or six months, have not been the best.
In fact right now I have taken a sip of a cup of Healtheries Chamomile & Vanilla tea and burnt my bottom lip!

Earlier today after making a decision last night about my future I was still not feeling like I was in a good place. I had to run some errands between finishing work late and a JP appointment and as I drove I talked to God. My car CD player no longer works and I think it was something God let happen as I spend a lot of time talking to Him now!

You know all the “stuff” that happens in your life that in most cases you cope with or get through - like entering a tunnel on a train where it is all dark and you finally come back into the light and all is OK even though you knew it would be that way. But from past experiences you’re not sure how long that tunnel is or if there might be a breakdown in it and someone has to come and rescue you.

If you have read my blog you will know my husbands and my history with mental health issues.

With the decision I’ve made things should feel better but I was still troubled. I heard God say, tell me about it… so this is how it went….

“I feel so weak with everything going on.
Too weak to deal with it.
I know that when I am weak You are strong.
I know when I just can’t do it I just have to hand it over to You and that is what You want.
To surrender it all to You.
You want me to say ‘I can’t do it’ because then I let You take control instead of trying to sort it myself.
But in that I still feel I want to know it will be OK.
How do I relax in knowing You are in control
I can’t see it.
I want a sign – assurance.
It’s like I’m stuck in that tunnel
I trust that You only have the best.
That only good is what You have for us who believe.
That I should believe that all will be well.
When I hand it all over to You, and I do.
But there always seems to be a ‘but’
I know my faith should just trust.
But
There are too many people I love and want the best for.
My family (and I named what I pray for them)
I want to know it will all be well“

God spoke

“Your faith is all you need”

With that I sighed. It’s funny it was like I had been holding my breath – and then let it out.

Later that night I was browsing facebook and saw this post from Ann Voskamp

…just for today -- DO. NOT. WORRY. "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matt6:34MSG

Just for today: Be a prayer warrior--not a panicked worrier.

Worry is just the facade of taking action -- when prayer really is. Bottom line -- keep breathing deep and give your worries to God -- He'll give you His peace.

His Word gently lifts our chins:
"The Lord bless you & keep you;
the Lord make His face to shine upon you & be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up His countenance upon you & give you peace.” Nu.6

While reading this I had some Hillsong music playing, and an older song I Will Exalt You played


I will exalt You
I will exalt You
I will exalt You
You are my God

My hiding place, my safe refuge
My treasure Lord You are
My friend and King Anointed One
Most Holy

Because You're with me
Because You're with me
Because You're with me
I will not fear

Even though the 'stuff' hasn't really changed - yet - my heart is rested.
Throughout the day God was saying 'all is well.' Right through Facebook kposts and songs I listened to!

Like my lip – it’s sore, but I know in time it will heal and all will be well.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW),

The New Zealand Mental Health Foundation repeated their Photo-a-day Challenge this year and I decided to join in. It ran for 15 days from 1–15 October to coincide with Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW), from 9–15 October 2017.

The theme was "Nature is Key" because  they said "We know spending time with nature is fantastic for our mental health and well-being. We wanted to find an easy way for lots of people to unlock their well-being and share how they see nature – out of their windows, at work and at home and everywhere in between." We were encouraged to head out into nature, look at it with fresh eyes and show what we saw.

We were given a topic each day to go out and take a photo of what that meant to us. Although it was a competition as well I was just happy to be challenged with getting out doors with my camera and here are my 15 pics.









Day 1 - My view: It was raining much of the day so I ventured down the front steps and this is 'my view'. It is some of our overgrown front yard. I see different angels of it from different windows in the house and look back at it when coming up the drive. When we sit on the deck with a cuppa it's the view we have and it changes with each season, so it's a place of contemplation as well.













Day 2 - Gratitude: I read that "Many spiders actually replace their entire web every single day." So I am grateful that like a new dew drenched spider web, we too can try a new start each day.









Day 3 - Light: Being out in the morning as the sun rises can really give an uplifting attitude to focus on for the new day. So like being in a place of depression it can be like 'after the dark of night we welcome the light of morning.' (note: in this particular frame the clouds parted to give the smiling face!)






Day 4 - Water: I could have picked a stream, river, waterfall, the sea, rain, a pond... but I remembered a trip to a local farm with Harry to get in our firewood. It was when I first got my new camera and I was keen to see what it would produce. The way this trough showed the passing of time appealed to me. Water is the source of life and all of creation need it to survive. So here was a water trough reflecting the sky where fresh water comes from.








Day 5 – Small treasures: Well I struggled with the photo of this. I wanted to take a pic of a bluebell that is growing under the deck as the hens have scratched all the bulbs out of that part of the garden making a bit of a mess. So its survival and bloom is a SMALL TREASURE in the disarray of overgrown garden. Trying to focus on it and not anything else didn't work but then I loved the 'abstract' of this shot so chose it.











Day 6 – Nature indoors: It was an interesting day for this as it was raining outside anyway so I had to think about what would make a good shot of nature indoors. As I looked at all the things we have that are taken from the outdoors I decided to make a display by our front door. So it included plants, feathers, shells, stones and an earthen vase.


 




Day 7 – Bush walk: With stuff going on that day I hadn't been out for a bush walk but we do have a little native garden area on our section so I went down there and took the first pic. Making my way back I found the little nest on the ground and must have nearly walked on it! Pays to take your time on a bush walk.




Day 8 – Art: It had been raining here all day so I didn't go outside to look for photo opportunities. The topic was so vast. Art is quite a personal thing when it comes to what you like and how you view it or interpret it.   What does art mean to me? As our subjects were to be nature I searched my photos for something that evoked interest, not just for me but others too. In the end I chose the koru. It is used in a lot of ways and places in art. But then Harry quite liked the second one. (root system from an old tree) So art is definitely to be viewed at through the eye of the one viewing it.




























Day 9- Pop of colour: It rained again for most of the day here in the Waikato. But in a fine break I ventured out with my camera. Taking shots of flowers among all the overgrown weeds for a "pop of colour", little did I know until I loaded the one I chose, up on the computer that it included a little spider! Harry later added a comment "Photobomber more likely."





















Day 10 – MHAW Lockout:
The MHAW Lockout is returning for a second year! On World Mental Health Day (Tuesday, 10 October), we’re encouraging employers across New Zealand to lock their staff out of the office for an hour and give them the opportunity to connect with the ordinary nature around their workplace. From 12–1pm, Kiwis will head outside and discover how happiness and wellbeing blooms when you start to connect with the nature that surrounds you every day. 
OK so I finish work at 12.00 mid-day, sometimes extended to 12.30 if demands mean I need to, so being 'locked' out is not really a new opportunity. So I just finished at 12 and took a pic of the driveway where I work.





Day 11 – Papatūānuku (Mother Earth): I wanted to take photos for this challenge on the day the topic was given. It didn't always happen but this day I went for a bit of a drive and about 10 kilometers north of Tirau I chose to take this shot. 'The land around me as I see it' Here I capture Papatūānuku, the rich farm land of the Waikato with trees and rolling hills









Day 12 – Creature: I could have chosen the birds, our hens, the cat but instead I decided on something just out in nature. Here a bee is busy collecting pollen.






Day 13 – Spring: Although by mid October we are heading into late spring and all those typical springtime opportunities are hard to find I was able to capture this silver-eye (Waxeye) in our Tui tree.











I took a few of the blossoms of our apple tree as well but wanted to include some bird life or insects in my entry for the challenge, however, I did like the way my camera took this snap.







Day 14 – Love my backyard: My backyard looks a bit embarrassing. Its untidy and full of overgrown areas and lawn that desperately needs mowing. Those who follow my blog will know my hubby suffers from an MI and after a winter and spring of being low the backyard is starting to become a place he is happy to be working on. With our large vegetable garden being its main feature, getting in his potatoes and helping me with my vegetable garden means the summer has promises of supply and good food. I too enjoy working in it and harvesting fresh food for us - and I love that!






Day 15 – Nature is key to… ? Hubby and I talked about this and decided it is LIFE. As a Christian I have New Life in Christ but life also comes from what is around us... nature.
I went outside in the blustery wind for an hour and ended up taking 52 pics (interesting 52 weeks in the year). After deleting the blurry ones and ones that just did not appeal I selected two. Hubby said this one (on the left) as it shows living nature (life) - bees on the apple blossoms collecting pollen for food and to make honey comb, fertilizing the blossoms to produce fruit, part of the cycle of nature so it shows - Nature is key to life.


This was another one I kept. Just a glimpse of the simple things of nature through the blur of everything else.

Monday, January 9, 2017

So What Happened?

As promised to some this was going to be a post about how our vegetable garden has been this summer. It started to be that, with me saying that the whole garden had been let go over the winter months because I wasn’t tending it. I was going to briefly say why but then I just got carried away.

You see if you know me or follow my blog you will know that 2016 wasn’t the best for me, and Harry. (I know not good grammar – should be ‘Harry and I’). You will know that Harry suffers from depression and this last year had developed into a hard one. When you love and live with someone who has an illness it all becomes a part of you as well..

Over the years Harry began to hate his job/work one way or another and it affected his illness of depression more and more, bringing it to the surface again. For me this meant everyday he was due home I would be preparing myself for how he would be when he walked through the door. I would never know and sometimes he would be so frustrated, angry or upset and he would need ‘space’ to get over it not even wanting to talk.
If he came home early I would panic – was he sick, had he been sacked or did he resign.
If he was late I would be anxious as to where he was – was he visiting someone, had to stay for work for a talk from the bosses or had he gone somewhere, was he safe ….
Some days when he came home, he was so down he would take a long time to just let what had been building up for him during the day to just let it go.
The stress if all this was not good for me and it played on how I became..

As in the past I had learnt that, for me I had to look after myself first, if I was to be of any use to those around me, and for me that meant doing things I loved or that I could at times blob out on. Things I did around the time of the day Harry was to come home became a mix of playing computer games, having a sleep or just being somewhere else. Eventually for us both we decided with the support of our doctor that Harry needed to leave his work. His antidepressant medication just wasn’t helping with the support he needed though it protected him from himself..

Now of course one of the things I could have done to help me get through all this would have been working in the garden for I have often found relief in this, but it was the winter months and between feeling down myself at times and the wet cold weather, the garden just got left. However, since then, things have changed – a lot – as I will share over the next few posts – I promise..

Not only has the garden done well but Harry has found a passion to get the whole section tidied up after years of neglect. So this too has been like a tonic for him..

Watch this space….

Monday, November 21, 2016

It's Time To Talk

I have been pondering about this post for some time now, not so much whether to make it but more what and how to say it. In fact I wasn't even sure what title to give it. For those who may be reading this post or are new to my blog, I just need to let you know that my hubby (Harry) suffers from a Mental Illness of Chronic Depression. That means the depression is ongoing and/or permanent.

This morning as I watched Harry hanging out the first load of washing before I went to work I was touched and had to smile and thank God for this. At the moment Harry is off work because continuing where he was working was tough on him and his depression was becoming worse. At the advice from our family doctor, who had been managing the situation from a medical view over the six months before, Harry finally resigned. Harry had felt humiliated and continually picked on and bullied. Because his meds had been increased to almost the highest level, over the last few months, it was decided for his mental health, that it was better for him to leave, rather than run the risk of something drastic happening. (Harry has had suicidal attempts in the past)

What has made things a little different this time and so in time the outcome, was the recent suicide of a long-time friend. We knew this man had suffered from a mental illness that had developed over the 5 or 6 years before hand but we were not aware that things had got so bad.
Why?
Because people don’t talk about it, even the ones who need to.
At our friends funeral it was so upsetting to experience the complete anguish and devastation of his adult children and others close to him.
As usual there is the unanswerable questions of:
Why did he do it?
Why did he not tell anyone that was how he felt?
Why did we not notice?
We have made a promise that we will be more aware of those around us when it comes to mental health and make sure we talk if we see people struggling.

In life I have come to try and find something good in every situation no matter how bad it is. It’s like offering thanks and praise to God in all circumstances

1 Thessalonians 5:18
18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

For me it was the comments Harry made after the funeral. He said anyone who is thinking of ending their life needs to go to a funeral and see how it affects others. One of the thoughts a person has when they are that low is that they believe that others, even the ones that love them the most, will be much better off without them being there. It’s hard to comprehend but they think they are too much of a burden, that they are of no benefit to anyone and a whole mixture of thoughts run through their head. The depression or mental illness they are struggling with will convince them that these thoughts are true.


A sufferer needs to be able to have the support to help them battle but until they are properly diagnosed or even recognise they have the illness the war can be lost. There are many ways and most of the time it will take a mixture of aids to help someone live as normal a life as they can. In most cases some form of medication is needed even if it is just in the short term to help them come to a place where other treatments can take benefit, while others will need medication for the life of the illness. I also believe that talking and being open about mental illness’s needs to be a top aid as well. The mind set I had, before I understood mental illness, that a person should just choose to be happy and all will be better, is quite naive. We don’t like to talk about it because we are scared of what to say or how to cope with the ‘victim’ or just generally to know or understand. So like many things it is education that needs to be had.

As I watched Harry this morning I was able to smile and thank God. Thank God that Harry is in control of his mental illness. Thank God that he has learnt from the experience of our friend that suicide is not an answer. Thank God that with my support he made the decision to leave a work situation that was extremely unhealthy for him. Thank God that although we are now on a sickness benefit and really struggling with finances we are getting by. Thank God that Harry has taken on jobs around the home to lighten the load for me and also that he is working hard all around the section.

At 63 in two months he still has two years before he can retire and so receive superannuation (which is higher than the sickness benefit) it is hard to know if he will be able to find employment when he is well. In the meantime he is using this time to make sure our gardens are producing food and the jobs that have been taking years to get done are slowly being ticked off the list.

So once more there is something to thank God for.

Numbers 6:24-26
24 “The Lord bless you
    and keep you;
25 the Lord make his face shine on you
    and be gracious to you;
26 the Lord turn his face toward you     

  and give you peace.”





 2 Thessalonians 3:16 
16 Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

God's Promise

This post may read like it’s a whole lot of bits and pieces but it has some “God Moments” in it. I will elaborate on areas in other posts as well.

For those of you who know us well on a day to day basis, will know that Harry is now on a sickness benefit. We have been in this place before and one thing I know God will bring us through. Harry had been struggling at work for some time – even a few years - but it was getting more and more unbearable for him. The foreman seemed to find it acceptable to constantly find fault in the things Harry did, but no-one else did. Even if Harry found a mistake in some other persons work it would somehow be twisted around to being Harry. Harry would come home from work most days feeling down and angry because of some of the things that had happened at work. He had a day when he was assaulted by a member of staff and that was when we talked about him finding something else. Over time nothing seemed to come up and although he applied for jobs and got a couple of interviews, most of the time there was no communication.

As the atmosphere at work grew more and more degrading for Harry and they started monitoring everything he did with weekly meetings, he became more and more humiliated. Because of Harry’s mental illness his doctor advised him, after increasing his medication to almost the highest amount, to leave for his own health and go on the sickness benefit. Even though I struggled with the whole aspect of "how are we going to live?" I supported Harry in the decision, above all else, for his mental health.

With the benefit being a low amount of money I knew it would be hard going but I believed we would get by, especially with me still working and if Harry helped with 'living off the land' at home.


It’s taken a month or so for Harry to recover from the low he had found himself in but he is now working around the section, clearing up years of mess and generally helping out. He’s planted our potatoes and dug and cleared garden for me. I planted some seeds today and harvested some carrots and silver beet for tea.

As a light rain fell I stood under a tree looking at the garden and thanked God for what we had. I too had been low over the winter months and not done a lot of gardening, but the little I had is now producing food for us to eat – right when we need it. I thanked God that he had kept it safe and grown through to harvest. I thanked God that there was still more coming on and that I was tending the plots alongside Harry.

As I came in from outside there was a huge rainbow out the front of the house, seemingly quite close. It was bright and complete with its own reflection above it. It made me smile as I see rainbows as a reminder of the promise from God to His people that He will never destroy them and the earth.

I was quite overwhelmed that in this time of thanking God He was showing me the reminder of His promise that all will be well.

Although life is going to be hard and a time of testing when we will call out to God, He will not let us be destroyed physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.




















Genesis 9:12-16

12 And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: 13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. 16 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”

Monday, March 9, 2015

Count Your Many Blessings

You know you can be happily going along and just getting on with life then something comes along and bowls you over?

It could be in a good way or a bad way...
It could be something huge or just the last straw that breaks the camels back..

Some of you will know if you have been reading my blog over the years that Hubby has a Mental Illness of Chronic Depression. It is in control with medication and we both watch out for signs for when all is not going too well.

I have been working outside the last month each Saturday morning tidying what I can around the place as it as getting quite overgrown and messy and generally in need of care-taking. I've weeded and pruned our driveway garden; trimmed back and weeded the small native garden; pruned some of the fruit trees and now just finished the flower garden outside our dining room window. It involved pruning some rose bushes and digging out a huge clump of bulbs that should have been thinned a few years ago.

I now want to reclaim the vegetable garden and get some winter crops in before it gets cold but it looks like a wilderness of weeds and parsnips gone to seed. They self seeded from last years neglect but it's really only me who likes them so I never got to eat them all.
Harry has been helping a little pulling out the parsnips. I have found in the past that I get a blister type rash if I get any sap from the sprouted parsnip on my skin and it leaves a scar so I am reluctant to attack them myself.

Before I start the new plot in our vegetable patch rotation we really need to reposition the huge chook run on a new part so they hens can work on a new patch of ground and I can start a garden next to them. This will allow Hubby to start planting potatoes in the bit the hens are currently in early next spring.

All sounds easy enough... but unfortunately things are not quite happening and Hubby is spending a lot of time just sleeping. He says he is tired.... but I am watching... the job of a caregiver.

But this Saturday that "something" hit me and I felt really sorry for myself. There is a list of things to be done and I can't do them all on my own. I know widows and others living on their own have to do it themselves or find help some other way and all that, but the 'woe is me' kicked in.

I have learnt when this happens to let all the 'stuff' go and find something to minister and care for me. I have learnt to find the blessings, for there are many and so I wondered around the gardens that I have tidied up and admired the work I have done. It is early Autumn and the warmer days are fading - the flowers not quite so prolific, so I gathered myself a bunch. They may be a mixture of weeds and end of the season blooms but gathered up they made a bright arrangement on our table.

As I pass them now I am reminded that it is just one of the simple ways to boost how I feel and hum the little song we used to sing in church...


I am grateful for so much and know that in time everything will get done that needs to be done. It may end up not happening the way I think or would like but in the meantime I can be grateful for some much; good health, a great spouse, an awesome church family, a good paying job, a roof over my head, food on the table, great family, and an awesome God who always reminds me that He loves me!! And I don't have to be perfect or do things better to get His love!!

Friday, May 3, 2013

The Story of Beautiful Girl


The Story of Beautiful Girl by Rachel Simon


This was our second Book Club book. It seemed interesting we had two books in a row on Mental Health Institutions but I found this one captivating not only in its story but also in the way the the Institutions in America  have changed over the years.
For our family have also seen the changes in these in the Waikato, from Tokanui to The Henry Bennett Centre.

Lynnie, a young white woman with a developmental disability, and Homan, an African American deaf-mute man, are locked away in an institution, the Pennsylvania State School for the Incurable and Feebleminded, and have been left to languish, forgotten. While this school and many others like it have been closed, as a people we still have much to do to show compassion towards others that are different from each of us.

The year is 1968, and most Americans (and possibly most of the word) are convinced that institutionalization, rather than education, social services, or humaneness, is the only reasonable response to individuals like Lynnie and Homan. Deeply in love, they escape, and find refuge in the farmhouse of Martha, a retired schoolteacher and widow.
But what an institution they've fled --- a place that's unimaginably filthy and corrupt, where residents are routinely restrained, punished and terrorized by the guards, where friendship and compassion are all too hard to find.
Lynnie a beautiful young woman who has voluntarily stopped speaking and Homan (known to Lynnie as Buddy, but to most only as Number 42), have escaped from the school. They harbor a dangerous secret --- Lynnie is pregnant and it is imperative to the two that the baby not be born under those circumstances.
The story begins with the night the baby girl is born as they run from the school. It’s windy and rainy and the two stumble upon the farmhouse of Martha Zimmer. Martha, an older woman, opens her door to two bedraggled wanderers. Both are wrapped in makeshift blankets composed of old signs, and neither one can speak. While Martha is not sure how or why they chose her door, what is obvious to her is the affection they have for each other, and that they are seeking refuge. As Lynnie (known only as Beautiful Girl to Homan) removes her wet outer clothes, she unwraps a just-born baby girl. Hiding in her attic where they had felt safe, they are discovered when a little later that night, there is a second knock on the door, and it is the authorities from School looking for two escaped inmates. Desperate to find a better life for her baby, Lynnie throws herself on Martha's mercy, whispers two words to Martha: "Hide her”, as she leaves her daughter with this quiet, trustworthy woman.  But, the authorities only find Lynnie, as Homan has escaped into the dark undetected and the baby is left behind in the hopes that Martha will look after her.
Lynnie is hoping that she will not be isolated when she is returned to the school, as how else will Homan find her again. While escaping Homan is thinking on how to get back to the school to rescue Lynnie, and Martha needs to decide whether she will honor Lynnie's request.
When Lynnie is returned to the school, we learn of the horrors, and the mistreatment she and others had to endure. Homan continues his escape, but the two --- neither of whom can tell their story --- remain separated for nearly 40 years.

And so begins the epic journey of Lynnie, Homan, Martha, and baby Julia- lives divided by seemingly insurmountable obstacles, yet drawn together by a secret pact and extraordinary love. Over the course of the next 30 years we share their ups and their downs, their worries and their happiness. Lynnie never gives up her love of Homan and knows one day he will return for her. Life returns to normal for no one in this thought-provoking book. Martha, whose telephone rings only on December 24, when her former students call to arrange a visit on Christmas day, finds her life changed as she cares for baby Julia. Martha spends the remaining years in a constant state of fear that the secret will be found out and the baby will be removed from her care. Enlisting her past students, each of them plays a role in hiding Martha and the baby until the day that Lynnie or Homan return. The child draws people into Martha's life and gives her newfound purpose. Homan travels about the country with no way of knowing where to find Lynnie, he doesn't even know her name, but as fate would have it, he is lead to the one place they shared in common, Lynnie's love of lighthouses.
As their lives continue in parallel, as their memories of that stolen time together and their hopes for their absent daughter continue to flourish, Homan and Lynnie prove to the world --- and to themselves --- exactly what they're capable of. 

In her bestselling 2002 memoir, RIDING THE BUS WITH MY SISTER,
Beth and Rachel
 Rachel Simon introduced readers to the challenges, heartaches and rewards of having a family member with a developmental disability. The memoir chronicles the year Ms. Simon spent accompanying her sister Beth, who is afflicted with an intellectual disability, on joyful bus rides through a city in Pennsylvania. Though this experience, the author gleaned an understanding of the inner life of the developmentally disabled as well as interviews with people who had been wrongfully

institutionalized and professionals who staff group homes. Haunted for years by the story of an unidentified, deaf African American man found wandering the streets in Chicago, Ms. Simons captures the essence of both in the novel THE STORY OF BEAUTIFUL GIRL, she says, "Burst out of me like nothing before." At the same time, she showed us the complexity and often misunderstood nature of disability, factors that may be unfamiliar to the general public but are well known to Ms. Simon.
THE STORY OF BEAUTIFUL GIRL has a personal angle and a political agenda, to be sure --- just one glimpse at the descriptions of the so-called School and a glance at the author's note, and readers will grow outraged by the atrocities that actually happened not so very long ago. Even more important, however, is the way in which Simon utilizes the inner monologues of Lynnie and Homan to enhance their humanity in a much-needed and too-rare way. Seeing inside their heads, coming to know them as thinking and hurting and loving people, comes far closer to knowing the disabled and empathizing with them than most readers ever would on their own.
The book's dedication reads, "For those who were put away." Although Ms. Simon's awareness of the institutional life forms a backbone for the book, it is her insight into the indomitable spirit of the human soul that infuses The Story of Beautiful Girl with brilliance and honesty.

Rachel Simon is the award-winning author of six books and an American nationally-recognized public speaker on issues related to diversity and disability. Her titles include the bestsellers, The Story of Beautiful Girl and she is best known for her critically acclaimed, bestselling memoir Riding The Bus with My Sister. Both books are frequent selections of book clubs and school reading programs around the country. Riding The Bus with My Sister has been adapted for theater and Hallmark Hall of Fame, whose adaptation starred Rosie O' Donnell and Andie McDowell, and was directed by Anjelica Huston.






Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Spring has Sprung


A typical picture of spring is a lamb with daffodils like the one above. But that's not something I can stage but for me its not spring until I have seen my first lamb.
And that happened last month so we are well and truly into it.

I do find it a time of promise. The promise of warmer days shorter nights and the flourish of new growth all around.

For those who suffer from SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder there is a feeling of coming through.

Seasonal affective disorder (also called SAD) is a type of depression that occurs at the same time every year. If you're like most people with seasonal affective disorder, your symptoms start in the autumn and may continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody.  Don't brush off that yearly feeling as simply a case of the "winter blues" or a seasonal funk that you have to tough out on your own. Take steps to keep your mood and motivation steady throughout the year.

This can be a time of hopelessness for those who suffer from chronic depression for where as those who suffer from SAD will perk up in spring knowing that the summer will soon be here; those with chronic depression can not convert their mood the same and so feel even worse simply because they can't.

In fact spring is a time where suicide is high, almost 50% of the cases are in spring. The serotonin levels appear low in people with depression and depression is linked to suicide risk. Long periods of little light during winter months may result in a prolonged dip in serotonin levels, causing an increase in depression and suicidal behavior that extends into the warmer months. Lack of exercise, sunlight directly on the skin and fresh vegetables also contribute to this. A person with SAD will take the spring days as a chance to get back out there and enjoy the new season but a depressed person can't.

I believe it is because they feel worse as they see others coming out of their SAD so in turn a depressed person will feel worse because they can't. Not only is their body lacking the serotonin they don't seem to be able to take the steps to balance them out. Medication will help but there is a certain amount of self that needs to help themselves too, through counseling and recognising their triggers and what is happening to themselves and others. If they are not aware of this too they will feel worse. Its like the snow ball affect getting bigger and bigger.

If someone you know suffers from depression be sure to watch them at this time but also gently encourage them to venture outside with you and talk about the promise of summer times etc.

I for one at this time, know I need to keep myself on guard, not just to bring me out of any SAD moods but to watch Harry and be strong for us both.









I look for the signs of spring as if for a promise but also as a check to watch over us both.