Our Weakness Is Not More Powerful Than God’s Strength.

 

Nineveh 

When I wrote this message I had had thoughts of maybe going to another Church, I won’t go into this but suffice to say I’m not. 

I was reading in the Gospels about the demon possessed man that Jesus cast the demon, Legion, out into the pigs. Afterwards the man begged to go with Jesus but Jesus said to him “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you and how he has had mercy on you” Mark 5:19 

In Luke 8:39 it says “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” 

Interesting God then seemed to put into place being asked to “Talk to you – my own people”. Who am I to try to take control! I will be obedient and tell my own people here …. OK not so exact but I heard God and here I am trying to obey Him. 

So when I was asked at the last minute to bring a message I put together some thoughts I had been pondering over the last two weeks messages before.  

Patrick preached on Chapter 1 of Jonah and how Jonah ran away from a Word from the Lord. 

Jonah 1:1-3 Jonah Flees From the LORD 

1 The word of the LORD came to Jonah son of Amittai: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” 3 But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the LORD. 

The story then goes on to tell of a storm rising and how Jonah confesses to the sailors it’s all his fault and tells them to throw him overboard into the sea. Reading on we know God provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah and after 3 days God commanded the fish to vomit Jonah up. (Notice God is in control)

In chapter 3 we read again the Word of the Lord coming to Jonah. 

Jonah 3:1-4 Jonah Goes to Nineveh 

1 Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.” 3 Jonah obeyed the word of the LORD and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very large city; it took three days to go through it. 4 Jonah began by going a day’s journey into the city, proclaiming, “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.” 

(Take some time to read the rest of Jonah yourselves to see how Nineveh reacted) 

How many times do we hear God speak to us to do something, especially for someone else and we push it aside? I’m not talking about going to Africa or writing a book (Although don’t dismiss these either) But when in a moment or you are wakened to do something for a person you may know. We think it either isn’t really His voice, or just our own promptings, or decide we are too busy, or we won’t be appreciated, or it seems to hard, or too much work, or too great a cost or…. The list goes on. 

Of course, I say ‘we’ and maybe you aren’t like this, but I have been. 

If we don’t, does God punish us? If we run away does God allow a storm to nearly drown us? Do we end up putting others’ lives at risk. 

Are we trying to be in control? 

But what if it is God and our not heading to His calling means that someone else has not received the blessing of whatever God is calling into existence? Or their lack was not filled? Or they didn’t hear just the right words needed for them at that time? Have we delayed the process - because I believe God will still call for His plan to be accomplished - so probably not, but we have missed being part of that blessing. 

Jonah was a prophet yet he still sinned against God by not obeying him. 

Something I wrote down that Sunday which I referred back to the next week was: 

 Our weakness is not more powerful than God’s strength. 

Last week Jeremey preached on ‘Control’ – as in, ‘Who is in control of our lives’. 

When we take over God’s control by trying to do it our way it ends up hurting. We also allow sin to come in by making ourselves to be like God. Being in control in our own way is sin. 

Jonah seemed to think he could control what he would and wouldn’t do. And look where that got him!

  Our weakness is not more powerful than God’s strength. 

In Jonah Chapter 4 he becomes angry that Nineveh escaped God’s wrath. He complains to God: 

 I knew you were going to do this! 

 I know you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love 

 I knew if Nineveh changed/repented you would relent 

It was like Jonah thought he could have control on Nineveh’s demise. And when that didn’t work, he was jealous. SIN got hold of Jonah. He even got angry over the plant God allowed to grow up to protect Jonah from the sun and then had the worm destroy it. 

The sin of anger then seemed to lead to Jonah wanting to die. 

 Jonah 4:9 

9 But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?” “It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.” 

Then God tells Jonah 

Jonah 4:10-11 

10 But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?” 

The book of Jonah finishes with a question. In fact, my bible has the end of Jonah chapter 4 right at the bottom of the page so I turned it to read Jonah’s response, but there is none. This makes us reread what is written and draws us into what God is saying/asking of Jonah. 

Jonah, who’s job it is to bring the word of the Lord to people had tried to be in control. We may think he seemed to forget who God was, yet he told the sailors in the boat, “I am a Hebrew and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the dry land.” (Jonah 1:9) He had also prayed while in the fish 

Jonah 2:9 

But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the LORD.’” 

He knew the very nature of God but still seemed to have a blind spot, a feeling of thinking he knew best and could pass judgement. 

When we sit in judgement of how it should be – take control - we are in sin. But be warned God will correct us as He did Jonah. And that is in fact a good thing. God’s desire is to correct us, to show us where we are wrong, to set us on the right path and to prepare and equip us for good work. God’s love for us is that strong. 

God is reminding Jonah who He is 

Jonah had prayed in the fish 

Jonah 2:2 

He said: “In my distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and you listened to my cry. 

God heard and answered – God had concern for Jonah. 

 Our weakness is not more powerful than God’s strength.  

Even though Jonah had been disobedient and had taken things into his own control God heard him and rescued him. 

 Jonah 3:5 

The Ninevites believed God. A fast was proclaimed, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth. 

The people of Nineveh fasted, put on sackcloth and prayed urgently to God. They gave up their evil ways and violence in the hope of God relenting and having compassion on them (3:8 But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence.) 

And God, who is slow to anger did. 

 Psalm 103:8-18 

Brooke Ligertwood (Hillsong) has written a song titled Ninevah.  

Our weakness is not more powerful than God’s strength. 

1 John 1:8-10 

8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. 

If we think this, who is in control? 

James 5:16 

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. 

So, where might there be Nineveh in you? 

God has mercy 

The Lord is turning toward you. 

Let us pray: 

Lord God, forgive us for making excuses and not heading your call to act. Show us where we are like Jonah trying to take control so we can confess this sin and be set free. We yield our lives to You, surrendering our own desires and control to You. Teach us to hear your voice and to step out no matter what. Use us for Your good works and to show your great and mighty love to those who you place around us wherever you would have us be. Thank You, Lord. Amen

I Have Been Pondering ...

I have been pondering on death – not in a morbid way, but in knowing I am loved by God and I have a destiny. 

I struggled when my mother died only a few months after my sister and it left my father seeming so lost and alone. They all had a faith in Jesus so I knew where they had gone. Then our Pastor also died, a wonderful man of God who was giving so much of his life for God. I wondered even if God was real, but God didn’t give up on me and took me through a crisis of faith. 

Little did I know at the time, that it was to put me in a place of assurance of God’s love for me, when I had a brush with death and it truly gave me an appreciation of being so grateful. 

Now I am finding myself again thinking of Gods’ purpose for us and the nearness of death for a few people I know as they struggle with cancer, the coping of their families and the whole feeling of, “Why?’ 

As I have prayed, talked and read with God, I have had a bit of an epiphany. 

I know that when I die, I will go to heaven to be with the One true God because I believe in Him, the one Creator God. I long to be with Him, but because of the sin in my life, which separated me from God, He sent His Son Jesus to pay the price for my sin. I believe because I have confessed this sin, I receive the gift of redemption and so can enter into heaven when I pass from this life on earth in death and I will be with God forever. This is the Christian belief and I stand on it

The Bible tells us:

John 3:16-17 

16 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. 

1 John 1:9 

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

John 14:1-3 

14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. . 

So, I have no fear of death. When I had my accident at one stage, while in the ambulance before I was put in the helicopter to be flown to Waikato Hospital, I had the experience of being wheeled on a trolley by people dressed in white robes smiling at me and telling me they were so happy to see me and I was nearly there. (read more here) As I look back, I realize I had no fear or regret and no loss towards what and who I was leaving behind. The prospect of just turning the curve into the light I could see, was thrilling me. This experience has never left me and at times I struggle a bit like the apostle Paul as to whether I wasn’t to stay here on earth and be with Jesus in heaven.

Philippians 1:23 

I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far;

I know that may sound selfish, and yes, I do feel it would have been horrific for my family and loved ones to come to terms with my death. One daughter often told me I gave her a fright, and I am grateful that I am still here having time with my family, but this is part of what I have been pondering. 

As a Christian what is my purpose and who is in control here? 

I was created by God and when I asked Jesus into my life it was no longer mine but His to be used for His purpose. I know I don’t measure up to this and fall short of His glory, but that is why I need Jesus and He loves me so I am set free from this constant debt of sin. His plans are already set for my life and when the appointed time comes, He will take me to be with Him - and I can truly say – not before.

Psalm 139:13-16

13 For you created my inmost being; 

you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 

15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, 

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; 

all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do 

But then there is the issue of praying for those who are on that journey at what seems like a terrible cost and loss. I wondered, “Who’s loss?” 

As a Christian our purpose is to do God’s will and in doing so also lead others to know God and His saving love through Jesus, so as to escape the death and eternity in Hell. We don’t all need to be nuns, monks, ministers or missionaries in Africa to do this. In fact, for most people who don’t know the saving love of Jesus, we need to meet them as people the same as them in whatever our ‘normal’ life is. I am reminded that as a Christian some will be watching me and my life to see what it is and who I am.

When we or someone we know faces death we are urged to pray for them, for healing and the situation and this is what has drawn me to ponder, “What and how do I pray?” 

I want them to go to heaven so if they don’t know Jesus as Lord then that will not happen. So, I need to pray and speak to them of Salvation. 

Yes, it would be great if they were healed and through prayer God’s healing for them would be an amazing testimony of the miracles God does. I can pray for that. But what if that is NOT Gods plan for them and that they are going to die from this affliction. That would then be “God’s plan” for their life. And I can accept that. 

When our Pastor passed away with cancer, I almost thought. “How dear God let him die. He did so much for God, left behind a wonderful wife, children and grandchildren”, and it felt like it was way before time. An elder said to me we are told to pray continually, and we did, but he still died. But it was God’s plan. 

1 Thessalonians 5:17  pray continually,

Now I have come to see it in a totally different light. To be with God is what we all desire. We pray it, sing about it and claim that is what we want. At times when I recall my experience, I long for it and wait with a joyful expectation of going there, so why would I not want that for my Christian brothers and sisters. Isn’t that what all Christians want, to be with Jesus? So why don’t we cope with that? Why do some fear death? 

Of course, we want to spend as much valuable time here with our loved ones, but why do we value our life or theirs here on earth more than our lives in eternity? I have come to see that as those praying for others, that we become selfish in wanting them to stay. Be it family or close friends, we think they should or need to be here and plead with God to heal them. For people who are doing amazing things for God, we ‘tell’ God, He needs them to do His work! In fact, we almost turn ourselves into God, trying to work His plan according to what we think. We pray for this and that and sometimes add at the end “Your will be done” as a token understanding that we believe God is in control. But is this a sin? Thinking we can pray one thing, as if we are all powerful - like God! 

The first commandment tells us ‘You shall have no other gods before Me’. Exodus 20:3 

When we try to manipulate God with our prayers, are we not subconsciously trying to be equal or above God and His plan? He is the Lord and there is no other like Him! 

Will God heal them? 

Only He knows and so we mustn’t doubt He may choose to use this situation for revealing His miracle working power. We must trust God, in faith that His plan is the best and He loves us all. After my accident and as I recovered many people were praying for me. Was it their prayers that healed me? I had one woman say to me, as if I had to be forever indebted to her, (because I didn’t have the same belief in an aspect of the pandemic as her) “But we prayed for you!” Yes they did and the speed at which I had healed spoke to so many people who cared for me. But that doesn't mean one is indebted to them. 

Is it a bargaining time before God? “If I ask for this or that, and You God give it to me, therefore I will do ‘that’”. NO, People prayed for me and I was healed, so it was God’s plan. Do I ask, "did people need to pray?" We are to pray because it is an acknowledgement of our need and trust in God.

What do we pray then? 

I believe we are to keep praying for God’s will to come to pass, give praise for the person and all they are and have done. To give thanks for knowing them and our relationship with them. Pray for God’s glory to be revealed in what His plans are for this person and over all confirm our faith in God that He is LORD Almighty. Hand it to Him because He is in control. 

There are examples in the Bible of how God changed His plan when people prayed to Him when disaster seemed eminent so I am not saying that God is not in control and able to do something in answer to our prayers, but can we question that that was not actually His plan in the first place. We want to see miracles and to show unbelievers God’s mighty power in them, but surely it is God’s decision, not ours. 

I found myself being like the writer of the book of Ecclesiastes where it felt like everything was meaningless.

A man who preached in our church a couple of weeks ago seemed to say that we shouldn’t believe ‘everything happens for a reason’. I talked to him after with my thoughts on this. If we as Christians, believe in the Word of God – The Bible – and that God is in control and has “the days ordained” for us, then surely, we have to believe that all things are part of that, whether they be from God or He allows them to happen by the devil for God to use for His purpose. 

I keep coming back to the thought that life with Jesus is all I want and we should be running toward the prize that is eternal life. 

1 Corinthians 9:24

 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.  

2 Timothy 4:7

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 

Hebrews 12:1-3

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 

 

I want to go to heaven at my appointed time and rejoice in knowing this to be true. And this is my desire for all. Life here on earth is just a fraction, a moment in time, but eternity is just that – eternity for all time. 

Mark 13:32-37  
32 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 33 Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come. 34 It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with their assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch. 

35 “Therefore, keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. 36 If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. 37 What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’” 

Psalm 39:4-7 
4 “Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; 

let me know how fleeting my life is.

5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth; 

the span of my years is as nothing before you.

Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure.

6 “Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom; 

in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth without knowing whose it will finally be.

7 “But now, Lord, what do I look for? 

 My hope is in you.

All Scripture is taken from the New International Version

Mumsey’s Ramblings - Something About Nothing And Everything God Sends Me

For some time now I have been wanting to post a new blog post here but have struggled with what to post. I had wanted to get back to posting on a regular basis and with everything that has been happening to me over the last couple of weeks, couple of months and even a couple of years I haven’t known how or where to start. 

Today was Sunday and as is usual for me I went to church. But that in itself is different for me now as well. We don’t have a minister at the moment but the man who preached today has been doing so on the last Sunday of the month for a few years and so we are very familiar with him. 

He preached on the scripture from Psalm 137 which was made famous by Boney M. 

Psalm 137:1-4

 1 By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion. 

2 There on the poplars we hung our harps, 

3 for there our captors asked us for songs, our tormentors demanded songs of joy; they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!” 

4 How can we sing the songs of the LORD while in a foreign land? 

He shared on how as Christians we should dare to be different in our world today as the world is different. “How can we sing a new song in the strangeness of today?"

Where everyone else is speaking out what they believe and so have a right to believe and speak about it, how do we as Christians, speak out of our faith and belief. Do we not even do so, for fear of being vulnerable, caught out, trapped and even abused for what we say or believe.

He went on to talk about how we have to be new in our thinking and ideas, with encouragement and examples, but the first part struck a chord with me.

Interestingly, after the service, a lady came and spoke to me about some things that had happened recently for me and in conversation said she had been talking to someone and had said, “The Fiona we knew before will never be the same after her accident”. I was a little surprised (inside myself) as I have struggled with this myself and here she was, speaking it out. I know my body is not the same and am finding it really hard to gain the full mobility. But I also know that my faith was cemented in my vision of almost entering heaven and being reassured there is life after death and God is building a room for me there. 

John 14:2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 

I had been through a time of despair over this belief before the accident and God had brought me through, knowing I needed to confront this crisis before I went through the accident.  

But what of now? 

As I mentioned at the beginning some major things have happened. 

A few weeks ago, I was not voted in as an Elder after two terms of three years. This meant I can no longer take the 8.00am Liturgy service, as my Lay Minster license had also lapsed but being an Elder I could.

In January my father (at 93) passed away to be with Jesus and I know his beloved wife. Though I am at peace with that, there are all the emotions that go with it. And now my brothers and I are sorting through the house and the enormous amount of ‘stuff’ that my parents had accumulated over their lives. 

And as I mentioned I am still recovering from my accident which at times makes me extremely tired and sore, along with waiting for my two knee replacement surgeries that have been put back because of that. 

So this is a new post to start again and as my blog is called “Mumsey’s Ramblings - Something about nothing and everything God sends me” you will see all sorts of posts in the future, for my record and for you to see what I’ve been up to.

Living at Pohlen Hospital

Continuing on from my previous posts

1. My Journey of Faith
2. My Life Changed
3. The Road of Recovery - Part 1
   
4. The Road of Recovery - Part 2 

I do not hesitate to share with people the reason I am like I am today or all along this journey because people need to know there is proof in the healing love of God. There is no denying I was being prayed for constantly by people here in Tirau, my daughter's church family in Hamilton, my parents church family in Wellington, friends and family all around New Zealand and the world, some of whom have never met me. Each time something happened I would pray and send out a prayer request or an update on Facebook and people would pray, God would know and hear and heal. 

When I was due to be transferred to rehabilitation (mid October) I was told at my appointment, there were no beds for me in that ward so I was sent back to Pohlen. As much as I loved being there, I didn’t get the intensive support I would have got had I been in a ward specialized for rehabilitation. But here I tell you of the amazing hand of God on my body and life. .

And the proof was confirmed in the constant times medical and care staff would be amazed at my healing and my attitude and with that I would tell them it was God. There was no other reason as to why a person my age with all this, would be doing so well

One time I got an infection in the long wound on my upper leg. The nurse was so afraid to remove the stitches as she was scared it would burst open. If this happened, she had said, I would have to return to Waikato hospital. 

This nurse had openly said to me she didn’t believe but she said to me, "Pray to whatever you pray to." 

I did. 

But when I had prayed, I wasn’t sure what to ask. 

Did I want to go back to Waikato? or did I just want the wound to heal? 

What was God’s plan? 

When she returned after consulting with a doctor still hesitant, I said to her, "Just do it, I have prayed."

And as she removed each stitch fluid seeped out and the swelling was relieved slightly with each removal. I was taped up and the healing began. 

I realized God’s plan was for me to be there. God needed her to see His power. 

Other times I knew I was being a voice of God there. 

One lunch time a carer asked me for everyone to hear, "What is the real meaning of Christmas?" 

I said. “We need to be saved and God loves us so much He sent His son, Jesus, as a baby, to save us and He came as one of us. So, we celebrate His birthday. The wise men brought gifts and so we give gifts to those we love, just as God loves us and gave His son” I shared about Christmas trees, the 12 days of Christmas and boxing day. 

Then she asked, "What was the most important scripture in the Bible for today?" 

Now that’s a biggy!!

"Lord," I prayed, "What do you want me to say?" and in the moment of waiting the scripture 

“Be still and know I am God”  

I explained that with everything that is going on in the world (Covid, wars etc) and our own lives, if we can just stop, be still and know that God’s got this. If we know God, we find peace. 

I figured I had ‘preached enough’ but one of the male residents clapped and said “Well done.” 

I realized that it had all flowed well and that the words just came to me by the power of the Holy Spirit. After lunch as we all stated going on with our day the man came up to me and said he wanted to chat with me as he knew as soon as I said what I said, he knew I was born again and just wanted to talk with me. He didn’t like being there as he felt there was no-one to talk to. I would often go and talk to him and go and see him each time I visit. He is now with our Lord.

The day after this the reading in The Word For Today was 

Psalm 46:10 !! It says, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be honoured among the nations. I will be honoured in the earth." 

I just smiled knowing how much God is in control of my life.

Another resident in the room through the other side of our ensuite died while I was there and in his final days a local minister came one day and was reading scripture to him. I’d been to the toilet and felt this really uncomfortable feeling of needing to pray for him even the words to say. I'd got to know him a bit and would tickle his toes and share my chocolates with him. The hard part of being there was that most of the residents are there for the end of their lives. In the end I just had to, so through the slightly opened ensuite door I prayed about Jesus preparing a room for us and when I had finished the minister was saying Amen, Amen, and I just knew that I had been obedient to Gods prompting. I was also asked to pray after the resident had died and was leaving the hospital and again at the lunch for all the other residents. I became the person different carers would come and talk to about issues they were having and I would pray. 

Who would have thought that the reason for being there was to minister to others! 

I’m not saying it was all plain sailing. 

There were times when I was quite despondent and I just wanted to be better and go home. Four months and a week is a long time. But every time the reading for the day either in The Word For Today or something I read in the book I was reading was God talking to me. 

Like the day I woke after learning to start walking again with aids and felt sore and wondering if it was going to get any better than this. There had been talk of maybe going back to Waikato to have some of the plates removed at a later stage if it was hindering the walking. I wasn’t sure how I felt about going through all that again. The title for the reading that day was “God’s Got This!” I prayed “If you’ve got this God, please reassure me – I feel I’ve lost the race to recovery.” The message talked of a ‘command’ to take stock and stand on God’s word, tell Him your concerns and trust Him 

Philippians 4:6-7 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

And after a little conversation with God, he said to me. “Don’t fret the ‘What if’s’ I’ve got this. I hold you in the palm of My hand My child. Trust in me” He even understood me in my low places.

One day when I was struggling, I just felt so low I didn’t really know what to pray. I just wanted to climb up and curl in God’s lap. But as I have discovered every time I go to God He answers me. The message from the Word for Today had this:

God will pick you up and help you to start again. One mistake – or one hundred – doesn’t render you useless for life. Today, God wants to lift you out of your low place. … You don’t have to go through life being manipulated by your emotions. Your emotions can be affected by your thoughts, and with God’s help, you can change how you think and what you think about!             The Word for Today - 9 November 2021 

On the 24th October it was decided to see if I could stand. I was excited thinking I could do this. But I couldn’t. My legs gave way as I had spent the last 6 weeks bed ridden being hoisted off the bed onto commodes, a wheel chair or lazy boy on wheels, to go or do anything. This meant that the muscles and so strength in my legs had gone. Feeling devastated I cried a little. The following day I opened the book I was reading, Sensible Shoes by Sharon Garlough Brown, and there was a prayer written (I found out later) by one of the carers on a paper towel.

Again, God is good. 

The next day I was able to stand with the mechanical hoist and from there the work begun. 

On the 26th October I took my first steps with the gutter frame. 

And at that very time Harry was doing a window visit and could see me through the window taking steps. God had it all in order. 

Don’t think this was all easy and straight forward because it was slow and painful. But each day as I prayed and read God’s word, He would show me the way forward and encouraged me. 

On the 30th October I had been struggling with the weight bearing when standing and walking. That day the reading from the Word for Today was Luke 10:19.  I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you 

Pain is not from God – it’s from the enemy. God has given us power over the enemy in His Word, Christ’s blood, and the name of Jesus.

I will walk even if there is pain because it will be crushed. 

Nothing will injure me – nothing. 

And more scripture came to me. This battle is the Lord’s [1 Samuel 17:47]. When I am weak, God is strong. His power is made perfect in weakness [2 Corinthians 12:9-10]. You did not choose me. Instead, I chose you. I appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit that will last. I also appointed you so that the Father will give you what you ask for. He will give you whatever you ask for in my name [John 15:16] 

With hard work, a fair bit of pain relief, prayer and carers cheering me on - literally, I learnt to walk, use my hand and in the process give God the glory. 

On 28th November I took my first steps without holding on to anything!

When I got back to Pohlen after 8 days at Waikato undergoing corrective surgery (as mentioned in the second half of this post) the carers had made a poster for me, decorated my room with Christmas decorations and left me a stocking. 

This poster was made by a lot of the residents, with a few of my carers and my two best friends drawn on it by one of the talented carers. She was able to pick out their likeness so you could tell who each one was without the names!

It may appear that my name is spelt wrong but I was known as Finona. One of the nurses had a family member named Fiona, and some of the younger children called her Finona Two of my grandchildren had also called me that too so that name stuck with me too. It would seem that for some children it is hard to pronounce as I remember my younger brother calling me 'Nona'.

I was in isolation for five days in case I had contacted Covid while at Waikato Hospital, but they still made the most of it for me. Fortunately I didn't have Covid (One would hope not having gone from there to hospital and back again!) but because of the nature of Pohlen it was important to protect the residents.

You may also think it odd to be calling Pohlen Hospital 'home', but I had been living there for three months and it was such a safe caring place, that it is was a second home to me and so to, for others that live there. If like me some are there for recovery or maybe some respite care but others get used to it being where they will now live. For most it is their home for the rest of their lives as they will not be going back to their own homes. 

There is a sign in the dining room that sums it up nicely.

Even now it still feels like a special place and I try to do some volunteering once a week to help give back for all the care I had and also as I know how special it was to have someone spend time with me without having to rush off to tend to someone else. 

As I write this it is just on a year that I was living there. Unfortunately some of the residents have passed away but there are still some that were with me and remember me, and I am getting to know some of the new ones. And it is the same with some of the staff. 

In this journey of faith, I realized how close to death I could have been. That I am alive is a miracle. I am constantly in awe of that – that is how much God loves me. I was constantly reminded of God rescuing me in verses I read and so I told my story to anyone who would listen. I am volunteering at Pohlen now and the staff still tell everyone, new residents, new staff members and even others visitors and family my story and I add that it is because of God. I learnt how much He wants me to talk to him and ask Him for what I need. He wants to show me and for me to see, the good things He has in abundance for me. When I struggled with so many unknowns along the way He reminded me He is in control and when I relinquished that to Him there was always calm. 

A selection of photos of my time at Pohlen Hospital 

The Road of Recovery - Part 2

If you are reading this post first, may I suggest you read my previous entries to have a better picture of my story.

1. My Journey of Faith
2. My Life Changed
3. The Road of Recovery - Part 1
   

Another injury that occurred as a result of the accident was a green stick fracture to the left elbow and a huge bruise and haematoma. A lump formed by the elbow and although the bruising disappeared the lump took a long time to be absorbed. 

Day 4

September 25th

September 20th

This didn't hurt as such, but I was aware of a tightness because of the swelling.

The three pics were October 11th, 28th and November 8th so you can see it took a long time to disappear. 

Another consequence was pieces of the shattered windscreen. I am thankful I wear glasses as they protected anything ending up in my eyes. But there were pieces in my face, my hair and in my hands. A lot was removed after the accident and I was able to pic a few pieces out over the early days as they worked themselves to the surface of my skin.

But I noticed a piece trapped between the last two fingers in my right hand. As hard as I worked at it I couldn't get it out. There was another piece deep at the side of the wrist also on my right hand. I had an x-ray and an appointment was made with my GP who removed them under a local anesthetic. One of the great things being at Pohlen was that it is also the Matamata Medical Centre where our GP is one of the doctors there.

Small incisions were made and the glass was plucked out. Then the little cuts were sealed close with some medical glue. There was even two pieces found in the place on my wrist. 

Later once I was at home, I was clearing out my old handbag (Jennifer gave me a new one for my birthday) and it had lots of windscreen bits in it. Either from the initial impact or when the windscreen was knocked out to get the roof cut off the car. My handbag was on the floor in front of the passenger seat. Interestingly I don't remember if I had put it there when I first went out or on the seat beside me and it landed on the floor after the accident. Depending on what's in it or what else I am taking with me will determine where I put it! 

I made progress with my healing of bones, scars and even the odd bit of thrush I had in my mouth, under my armpits and the groin (TMI?) but these infected areas were because I wasn't moving much so they became lovely warm breeding grounds. I also learnt to stand and walk again but that will be in another post.

However there was a hic-cup along the way.

One thing at Pohlen was there were always activities to join in with or I would work on one of the 1,000 piece jigsaws they had. On the 9th November I was making a bracelet with beads and helping others to thread theirs. I was in my wheelchair and wanted to got to the toilet. I tried to 'back' the wheelchair but there was one of the hospital lazy-boy chairs parked with the brake on right behind me. I didn't think its brakes were on, (or it didn't occur to me) so tried to force my wheelchair to push it back. There was a sudden pain in my right arm where the plates were. I tried not to say anything but I really needed some pain relief. At first one of the carers said I'd have to wait but my 'favourite' saw how upset I was and took me straight to the nurses. I was given pain relief and a warm wheat pack.

Over the following days and weeks it still hurt and the nurses were worried, even the physiotherapist at Pohlen, so they had the doctor check it. But it was all put down to tissue injury or I had just pulled something!

I sure had pulled something all right. 

Because I couldn't climb up into Harry's truck, our daughter Sarah would come and collect me and take me to Cambridge for hand therapy on my right hand, which also involved my arm. 

On our third visit the physiotherapist was working away on my shoulder. Of course we had to wear masks because of COVID so she didn't see the painful faces I had while she did this. She suddenly stopped and said "What's that clicking sound?"

I said I'd noticed it a few times and she then said, "That's not right. We are stopping this now and I am sending you for urgent x-rays and a scan." She also said she was going to have the report sent immediately.

We managed to get an appointment straight away in Cambridge and we were driving home when the physiotherapist rung to say she was sorry, but I would have to go back to hospital for more surgery to re-attach the main plate in my arm. She had let Pohlen hospital know and by the time I got back they had forms ready and the healthcare worker was helping pack my things. 

Once again I had no idea what the next stage of my journey would be but I wanted to come back there until the ramp to our entrance was erected at home so I could go home.

A clear view of the angle 
the plate and break were

The top pin has come off the plate
while still in the bone

In the left x-ray you can clearly see the short plate attached (actually behind the bone) to help keep the shattered break in place. (This was in the initial repair on the 10th September.)

The right x-ray, not only shows the dislodged plate and bone out of line again drastically, but how the top was protruding out so causing a bulge on the surface of my skin. This explained why it hurt to lie on my right side and why the manipulation at physio was so painful! It was like I had broken my arm again.

It was 21st of December - Christmas in Hospital 

But as always God has everything in order.

Jennifer had decided to come down from Hamilton with the grandchildren to visit so. We believe that was God's plan so I had transport back up to the hospital with out having to book an ambulance which would have taken some time as it wasn't an emergency.

The rod in the middle of two longer plates

It was with mixed emotions I went through this. One, I was not going to be able to go home for Christmas day. Two, I had become excited to be celebrating Christmas at Pohlen, as I had helped organize a few things and I wouldn't be a part of it now. Three, my recovery had taken a step backwards. 

To cut a long story short, the metal plate had come away from the bone and pins when I had yanked on the wheelchair, so I had to have surgery again to re-attach it. I was admitted back into Waikato hospital up to the orthopedics ward where I waited for a slot to have the surgery. Emergencies always come first depending on their seriousness so I was scheduled for first thing in the morning on Christmas Eve. 

I had a four hour surgery where the first plates and pins were removed and longer plates were put on both sides of the humorous. A centimeter of jagged bone was cut out at the break for a cleaner healing. A nine centimeter rod was inserted into the bone (For some reason I thought this would be a couple of centimeters long!) to help hold it together and allow a stronger healing. This also meant a much longer incision in my arm but they did cut along the previous scar.

After surgery to prevent blood clots especially in my legs and because I was unable to walk with out holding onto support, I had feet pumps attached to my feet to keep blood moving. They were quite funny to watch. 

But with it all God was blessing the whole situation and I could constantly see His hand in the goodness I experienced.

On the third day I got moved to a window bed (6 beds in the room) and the lady across from me was also back due to complications to her post accident injuries and we were both in for Christmas. Other patients left their flowers behind for us. One of the health care workers had could do amazing calligraphy and did our bed signs. Someone was out flying a hot air balloon and I could see it drift by. 

As I was still doing my daily Facebook grateful posts I was finding little gems everyday.

 

The menu and meals for Christmas day were special for the occasion.The meals at Pohlen were designed for older people, not so 'hot and spicy' with easy to chew and digestive friendly food. But contrary to a lot of peoples comments, I actually enjoy public hospital food. Maybe it's because I haven't had to cook it myself and there is a variety with a lot of things my hubby doesn't like. But Christmas day's food was lovely. The menu for choosing what you would like comes the day before and Christmas day's menu was on gold card rather than the white A4 paper.

I forgot to take a pic of the lunch meal which was a lovely cheese log with a fresh salad but the extra touches of special 'real plates instead of the blue hospital bowls, tray mats (Usually there weren't any), Christmas serviettes and a typical festive menu helped make it special. 

All the wards and even the pre and post op rooms were decorated in a Christmas way. When you are lying on your back and being wheeled on a bed this looks very festive.

The day before I was to be transferred back to Pohlen I was moved up to the other Orthopedic ward. It was a revamped area and certainly was refreshing. There were a lot of the people who had cared for me back in September and it was so good to see familiar faces and have them fuss over me. They were amazed to see me walk and said they don't usually get to see people like me coming back to show them how far they had come. 

Living at Pohlen Hospital