Wednesday, October 26, 2011

BreastScreen Aotearoa

BreastScreen Aotearoa is a free national breast screening programme for eligible women aged 45 to 69.
It checks women for signs of early breast cancer by using mammograms.

Mammograms are the only proven way for finding breast cancers early enough to reduce your risk of dying of breast cancer. Regular mammograms reduce the chance of dying from breast cancer among women aged 45-69. But the benefit is greatest for women aged 50-69.

Today I have had my third two yearly mammogram. As I waited the lady next to me asked if I had had one done before. "Yes" I replied.
"Is it really painful?" she asked.

Now there is an open question!

I answered that I didn't think so. Yes it is uncomfortable but if you relax your shoulders and really lean into the machine it lessons that a bit. I hope I put her at rest.

I realised that I had felt like that the first time.

A gas leak has affected a major pipe line in the upper North Island of New Zealand, so hospital laundries (along with many other consumers) are not working so I was asked to use my own cardy. This was a pleasant result as mine was thick and warm so I felt more relaxed.
The actual positioning of the breast and 'gentle' coming together of the plates for the x-ray only took about 30 seconds. There are four x-rays taken and I was in and out of the place in 15 minutes. This included filling out a form, chatting, stripping to the waist and redressing.

For me this is really important especially as my mother has just had a mastectomy because of a lump she found.

October is breast Cancer awareness month so my appointment was quite appropriately timed.

I know its a thing that is joked about but it isn't as bad as they may say for we wouldn't go back for another!


Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need
to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the
exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared
for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right
in and around your home.


Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the
door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first
time wasn't effective enough.


Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is
just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the
floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a
friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently
flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.


Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an
appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.


AND, just a thought for all the women out there........

MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?.........And

When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!

Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget to have a

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra....
Hard to Find
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

MEN, please don't take this personally... we still love you all!

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