Sunday, July 22, 2012

Who Can Say What is Too Much?

When I was pregnant with our fifth child a lot of people, including family and Christian friends made comments about the number of children we already had and wondered why we would want more or even thought we “couldn’t afford” to have more children. Some were even so thoughtless as to say things like “don’t you know how it happens?” Normally this was made in jest but one wonders what their thoughts were to say that in the first place.

We used natural family planning after our first two children and although we didn’t actually plan our last three pregnancies (I had seven altogether) we were aware that all except the last one were going got happen and were happy to let the consequences come to birth so to speak.
When I was pregnant for the seventh time (it would have been our sixth child) we had been so offended in the past by peoples uncaring comments we chose not to tell many people at all. However in the twelfth week of the pregnancy I started to miscarry which took four days. At first we weren’t sure if I was losing it as the doctor tested that I was still showing pregnancy hormones so I was sent to hospital.
This meant letting some people know including grandparents who hadn’t thought it was wise for us to have more children. It was with mixed feelings to tell them that yes we were going to have another child, but I may be losing it.

The babies missing would have been between Sarah and Jennifer, and after Katrina.

2008 - Our five children Katrina, Daniel, Sarah, Jennifer and Theresa. The babies missing would have been between Sarah and Jennifer, and after Katrina.

For us when it finally came away and I was home again there was plenty of comfort from everyone with no mention of more children by anyone.
That was to be our last time of having a baby as we had then decided, after having five beautiful children and losing two by miscarriage, we would not try for more and took measures to stop. It was our choice and not something forced upon us by so called caring people.
Looking back I now wish we had had more children and maybe closer together. We are not a rich family financially but we certainly are in other areas and we have even been told by people over time that we are the sort of people that should have had more. Money is not everything when it comes to raising a family, but love, health, care and support from within are what make a family.

We have friends that have just announced they are having their seventh child in January.
How exciting for them and yes I will admit I am a little jealous.
No they don’t earn mega bucks either but they have beautiful children, they are a loving supporting family. The home is a wonderful place of open space, clean air, space to run, climb and grow and eat food grown on the land. They have supporting family living nearby and a regular guaranteed income.

They like us have children who are great learners and do (in our case did) really well at school and have talents in different areas.

But they too have had family say they shouldn’t be having any more and what did they think they were doing.

I am remindered of the scriptures we were given as comfort for our decision to have more.
3 Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

The Little Children and Jesus 
13 Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. 14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”15 When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there. 

When I listen to my friend tell me the hurt she felt I was saddened that she was experiencing the same things.

But even she made me realise I too have my own agenda and that they are totally walking in God’s ways. I said that I supposed they would be hoping for another boy (they only have one out of the six) but she told me that God knows what He wants them to have and He is in control.

Our family with two of our Son-in-laws and one of our four grandchildren. (2010)

For those who think that a family should just be one or two children, I ask you not to think of what you would cope with or how you were raised, but rather be in awe that those who can produce wonderful children to be part of our future, do so even if you don’t give them your support.

Take a look at this family.

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