As promised to some this was going to be a post about how our vegetable garden has been this summer. It started to be that, with me saying that the whole garden had been let go over the winter months because I wasn’t tending it. I was going to briefly say why but then I just got carried away.
You see if you know me or follow my blog you will know that 2016 wasn’t the best for me, and Harry. (I know not good grammar – should be ‘Harry and I’). You will know that Harry suffers from depression and this last year had developed into a hard one. When you love and live with someone who has an illness it all becomes a part of you as well..
Over the years Harry began to hate his job/work one way or another and it affected his illness of depression more and more, bringing it to the surface again. For me this meant everyday he was due home I would be preparing myself for how he would be when he walked through the door. I would never know and sometimes he would be so frustrated, angry or upset and he would need ‘space’ to get over it not even wanting to talk.
If he came home early I would panic – was he sick, had he been sacked or did he resign.
If he was late I would be anxious as to where he was – was he visiting someone, had to stay for work for a talk from the bosses or had he gone somewhere, was he safe ….
Some days when he came home, he was so down he would take a long time to just let what had been building up for him during the day to just let it go.
The stress if all this was not good for me and it played on how I became..
As in the past I had learnt that, for me I had to look after myself first, if I was to be of any use to those around me, and for me that meant doing things I loved or that I could at times blob out on. Things I did around the time of the day Harry was to come home became a mix of playing computer games, having a sleep or just being somewhere else. Eventually for us both we decided with the support of our doctor that Harry needed to leave his work. His antidepressant medication just wasn’t helping with the support he needed though it protected him from himself..
Now of course one of the things I could have done to help me get through all this would have been working in the garden for I have often found relief in this, but it was the winter months and between feeling down myself at times and the wet cold weather, the garden just got left. However, since then, things have changed – a lot – as I will share over the next few posts – I promise..
Not only has the garden done well but Harry has found a passion to get the whole section tidied up after years of neglect. So this too has been like a tonic for him..
Watch this space….